To say this feeling is weird does not cut it. This move process feels like another reality. I've actually gotten really comfy here in Magdeburg with the amazing people around me, and now I'm going back into the unknown. Am I ever going to stop that? My life, it feels, has become a streak of getting settled and then restarting.
I know that it won't be bad. The transition will be quick, I'm going to be working in a week, and I already know people in Hamburg. So it's really not a huge deal. But the whole reality of learning a new place just really hits me when it comes time to make it happen.
If anything, I should be used to this. Since high school I've been moving almost constantly. Each place with a clean slate and tons of things to learn and get used to. So why does this one feel so different? I have no idea, but it's probably just me psyching myself up for no reason.
Maybe it's just the things that take me completely out of my comfort zone that make it so impressionable and nerve racking. Goodbyes. Seeing all of my things packed into bags. Looking like a pack mule (side note: big pack on my back, small pack on front, suitcase, duffel, and my bike. Carried all of them up to the platform in one go. BUILT LIKE A HORSE). Just things like that, they get me out of my comfort zone in front of both friends and strangers. Things that make me stick out like a sore thumb like that, and especially in situations like this, get me worried/stressed/anxious.
But deep down I know I have no reason to worry. I have support everywhere. Support from my guest grandpa and friends in Magdeburg that helped me with everything over the last 4 months. Support from Lutz and Elke and my PPPlers in Hamburg that are going to welcome me to their city and help me adjust. Support from all my other PPPlers that have had my back through everything, day or night, good or bad, all of it. And no DOUBT I've got support from my awesome family (biological and not) back home that are there for me always.
Overall, I think it's just the reality of it all. I'm pumped to start my internship in Hamburg and do new things, meet new people, and get another awesome new experience. But just knowing what I'm leaving behind makes me sad and nervous.
Regardless. Nerves are out. LETS DO THIS.
A couple quick anecdotes.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned her before, but Dietrich has a really cool friend named Gita. They're really close, and pretty much act like brother and sister. It's hilarious.
Well she stopped by for lunch today to see me before I left. As she was leaving, she wanted a picture of me. I don't think she's ever used the camera on her phone before. I had to turn it on for her, and she thought it was broken because it was pointing at the ground. So I had to tell her what the lens was and that you had to point it at what you wanted to take a picture of. Long story short, I got to teach a little old lady how to use a camera phone so she could remember me. She's awesome. :-)
Next one. When I first got to Magdeburg, Dietrich gave me this really cool, old Beer Mass with the lid on it for me to use. I thought it was cool, and had it sittin on my shelf while I was there. Well, today as all my stuff was in the car, Dietrich came into my room to check up on me, and asked if I was going to take it with me. Apparently he gave it to me at the start and I had no idea. This is going to be an awesome way to remember my time with Dietrich. He is such a kind, welcoming, and funny old man. I am truly blessed to have spent time with him. Thankfully I'll be going to his birthday party in March (he's got a pig sitting in the freezer for the party), and he invited me to his grandkid's baptism. I am going to make a concerted effort to stay in touch with him, no matter what happens down the road. Weekly/monthly emails and sporadic letters. That's my plan.
Original Publish Date: February 12th, 2014