MENTAL HOUSE CLEANING
A New Week Begins...
With a Packers win!!!!!!! (Suck it Bears) Actually, I heard it was a close game. But Jay being Jay found one of his favorite receivers at the end in Clay Matthews and that sealed the deal. GO PACK GO!!!!!
This entry is just gonna be a bunch of thoughts that have been piling up as of late. It won't be super exciting, but it could be insightful. I'll let you decide.
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Things that are Mine
(I feel like this may come off as a ramble of nothingness, or a boast about hobbies or such. I hope that that is not the case. Sorry if it does, that is not the intent...)
One part of growing up is slowly becoming more of your true self, or at least realizing who/what your true self is. For me, that's involved a lot of things, but here I'm gonna focus on some of the things I do. Things like ultimate frisbee, mountain biking, camping, hiking, traveling, and a couple of other things, all of which have slowly become extremely vital and prevalent in my life. And save for a few exceptions and small influences, these things are unique to me. What I mean is, in terms of my upbringing, they're things that I didn't necessarily grow up with our was directly taught, but yet somehow evolved in my world and play a big part in my life now. They're things I can, in a way, "call my own".
I can't remember how this came about, I think I was talking to Simon about frisbee or camping and stuff, but someone asked if I did these things as a kid growing up, or with my family, or have been doing them for a long time. Let me try and make sense of this through examples. By no means is this a diss or boast of sorts. And hell yeah I'd love it if Mom, Ali, or Peewee or whoever close shared more of these things with me! It's always more fun to share deep interests with friends! But this is more of a commentary on how they've become vital in my life from no distinct beginning.
Photography
I enjoy taking pictures of the world around me and the things I experience. Not only is it a creative and artistic outlet for me, but it gives me a way to look back on everything I do and see to remember parts of my life through pictures. At some point in my life I didn't take pictures, but slowly have evolved to being active with it.
How did this come about? What influences did I have in doing this? Well, my dad was a bit of a photographer, which I got to experience a bit as I was growing up. Mostly I remember the technology, and the coolness of that aspect, which was the entry point for me. Being able to play around with a cool device, I got to see what it produces. Then magic happened, and now I take lots of pictures, or something like that.
Ultimate Frisbee
I remember playing ultimate, or some version of it, during cross country practice in high school. Since I was part of the lower end of runners on the team, the coaches didn't really pay attention to us, so we did our own thing, usually involving a flatball and a field. Somtimes we'd just run to Safeway and grab some ice cream. Also fun times.
Fast forward to freshman year, I was deciding what I wanted to do outside of classes at OSU. Triathlon, Swimming, and Ultimate were the big three sport potentials, and by some stroke of luck, ultimate became the focus and played a role in almost all aspects of my college years. Because it was so impactful, so active, and a helluva lot of fun, it's stayed with me since, and has become the best way for me to get in touch with the new places I've been.
Yes, that's me. SPRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG BRRRREEEEEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKK
For example, in both Germany and Japan, frisbee has been my best social endeavor, as I've been able to meet people from the area, get involved right away in a new city/country/environment, and has usually opened up opportunities for traveling and great new friendships. Frisbee makes my world spin, and that won't be changing any time soon.
Outdoors (MTB, hiking, camping, etc.)
I am extremely proud of the Pacific Northwest, where I grew up, and a big reason for this is the Neature that is everywhere you look. Hell, I could see Mt. Rainier from my bed growing up. Not a bad gig.
Growing up, my family and I would go camping once or twice a summer at state campgrounds, usually along the Oregon coast. It was a great time for us to get away, play on the beach or ride around the campsite, and hang out. Ever since then, I've taken that and run with it. From climbing two mountains this year...
... Mt. Hood ...
... Mt. Fuji ...
... Backpacking across Norway last year ...
... MTBing in Norway as well as across the U.S. after grad school and more ...
...to climbing and other stuff out in the fresh air abundant in beautiful natural locations. There's so much to see and do, and every time I get the chance to explore somewhere new, I get excited. I think this has also played into the fact that I can walk through a city in a half a day and be content, but in a small park or some form of wilderness I just feel like I'm in a playground with infinite possibilities for discovery. I am constantly astounded by the natural beauty and landscape around me.
It's weird to look back or look at your life and see the changes that have occurred over the last few years and try to fully grasp where you are at. As I look back now and analyze, I see that I'm no longer the generic high school kid or college freshman still stuck in a stereotypical place. Now I'm a dynamic, weird, passionate person with interests, hobbies, and a full life of my own. It astounds me to see how much of a role my interests and hobbies play in my daily life, and have played in my development to this stage (I've still got a long way to go). I'm a very unique human being on this planet full of them, and that's something I am proud of.
Long story short, I'm a weird kid that likes to do stuff.
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Ready for Anything
One thing I've realized in the last couple weeks is that I can be really good at preparing for things. Example - Mt. Fuji
- I brought 5L of water for the hike up and down. I drank exactly all 5L of water by the time I got off the bus back in Tokyo. Not too shabby.
- I went up the whole way wearing under armor leggings and Five Ultimate shorts, no problemo. I then whipped out sweatpants and rain-pants at the top and was delightfully cozy. No wind getting in and no heat getting out of my legs. Boom.
In the theme of learning more of what kind of person I am, I am someone who likes to have what I need available to me at all times. Usually this involves a way-too-drawn-out packing process, and sometimes bringing a little more than I need or use on trips. But sometimes I hit the nail square on the head. On my Norway trip, I used every item I brought with me and didn't feel that I forgot something. Perfect for a two week trip. On Mt. Fuji I used (I think) everything I brought with me and stayed warm and fueled/hydrated the whole time. Sometimes over analysis can pay off. Preparation for me is one of those cases.
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Driving in Japan
Holy crap is it expensive!!! In the two hours from Tokyo to Station 5 on Mt. Fuji, the bus we were in had to pay a total of ~3000 Yen in tolls. That's about $25, for a 2.5 hour drive on the highway. That's nuts!!!
As another good example, we have a test facility and track in Kitsuregawa, about two hours north of town. My manager said that a ride on the Shinkansen (bullet train) is almost cheaper than driving. And riding on the Shinkansen is quite expensive. I thought about renting a car at some point and doing a small road trip around Japan, but at that cost, there's no way I could reasonably afford it... :-(
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Fear of Missing Out - Way too strong with this guy - Discontent Impediment
My FOMO is strong, it comes out in nearly everything that happens to me. Seriously, whether it's picking the right entree in the cafeteria, figuring out what to do with my weekend, or even what music to listen to, I always want my decisions to be perfect on the first try. And when I've already made a decision and see or feel that I've made the wrong one, it EATS at me. And I hate it.
Case in Point - my switching apartments. I'm here for three months, and most of my time will be either spent at work or adventuring around. But because there were a couple of items that I saw as inauspicious after a week being there (location being the biggest), I got all stressed out and chose to move. Granted, I definitely made the right choice, but sometimes I have a serious struggle finding contentment in what I do and where I am at.
Sometimes this can be healthy, but something I need to work on is being content with where I am at and finding the overall good and benefits of the choices I have made.
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Fake Fluency
So I lived in Germany for a year, right? In that time I gained a pretty strong hold of the German language. Since then I've lost a lot of it, but am picking it back up a little bit due to the flood of German colleagues I've got here in Japan.
Even when I still had my full language strengths in Germany, I feel like it was fake in a way. Yes, I understand stuff, and can talk when given the chance, but that's just it, I need the clear chance to do so because my mind can't process the language fast enough.
This is extremely clear when I'm around two or more Germans, who talk at normal speed, but everything is nuts. I usually understand about 70% of what's being said. And they speak so fast one right after the other that, even if I did fully understand what was being talked about, I can't formulate a response or contribution fast enough to get it in the conversation.
This usually results in me just sitting or standing around as everyone else has a nice conversation, like a socially averse introvert. It sucks, because I want to contribute and have something to say, but I don't want to sound like a complete idiot every time. I'm not sure if this is just that next roadblock in language proficiency, or if it's just characteristic of my social capabilities. Sometimes I don't like my introversion.
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Camera Problems
Again, I'm not sure if this is my poor skills and capabilities or a result of a camera defect, but my camera is still giving out tons of blurry images. It's super frustrating. I took it in to get repaired in California twice, and the same thing keeps happening over and over again. I need to get it checked out again soon, but I don't think I can do it til December because there's so much room for adventuring here in Japan. It just doesn't make sense. I always find a focal point, but then for some reason the entire image comes out completely blurry. Y u no werk? Life is so rough...
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This Introvert's Limitations of People
Two things on this point. First, I HATE being treated like a kid or treated like I don't know what's going on, where I'm going, or what I'm doing. It drives me FUCKING NUTS. I am more aware than most people, and especially more aware than most people give me credit for. I just usually don't throw it around and blab about it. I've been running into it more frequently than I'd like lately that people are treating me like an ignorant idiot.
Yes, I've traveled before. Yes, I know how to get myself from A to B. Yes, I am technology-literate. Are you kidding me? I'm 25 years old and I haven't gotten to where I'm at by being aloof. I fucking hate being treated like a child, and it makes my fucking blood boil.
Thing two, certain personality types and actions rub me the wrong way, and my lack of patience makes these things eat at me. And it's not just limited to one nationality, as I'm realizing, but these traits are present in seemingly everywhere.
Pretty much like my first point, it really irritates me when people are aloof to what's going on, or have absolutely no awareness or care for their surroundings. If someone's coming head on on the sidewalk and you're walking two abreast, make room for that on-comer, don't just keep going like you're a prince. You're not special, treat other people with respect. Also, know when to plan everything down to the second with every detail rigidly in place and when to be able to let it go.
Ok. Venting complete, for now.
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Travel Buddy
I cannot wait to find someone I not only match well with, but travel well with. That is going to be SUCH a huge value of mine in finding someone. I don't plan on ever slowing down traveling, and in fact want to keep it going as long as I possibly can. Having that perfect partner in crime is something I am really looking forward to.
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Foreign Invasion
In the States, it is almost universally expected for foreign visitors or expatriates, etc. to speak English when they are in the USA. There are very few exceptions to this. Yes it helps that English is the almost universal international language, and it doesn't help that a second language is never truly taught in the US.
So take this and imagine it a little bit different. Imagine living in the US, speaking only English (maybe with a very elementary understanding of Language A). Then in your professional and even some of your personal life, you are almost expected to provide some level of adequate fluency in Language A, despite very little formal training and still being in your home country where the language is your mother tongue.
Now put yourself in the Japanese's shoes, because this is exactly what is happening to them. How would you act and feel if you were expected to speak a foreign language seemingly fluently in your own country? Especially in your place of work, the non-native tongue is almost the sole language of communication. That would be a really rough life.
It kinda hurts to see this happen to the Japanese here, as they are requested almost constantly to speak English consistently and fluently despite any strong formal training (academic or practical). Granted, their language is extremely hard, especially compared to any alphabet with a Roman Alphabet. But even still, I personally feel really coming to Japan, not knowing anything appreciable in the native tongue here, and trying to get around. And what makes it worse, is seeing in the work environment, how much it plays a role.
I would hate not being able to contribute fully because of a foreign language expectation being suddenly and forcefully thrown on me. Yes, I would do my best to adapt, but language learning is not a quick process, especially during a full-time job.
Original Publish Date: September 15th, 2015