GETTING (UN)SETTLED

Jump to...

Well, I've officially been in Germany for a few weeks now, and it's had a good number of ups and downs. I'll try to list a few of them, as well as a few things I've done and seen in that time, but we'll see how good my memory is (it's not, but we'll see what it can dig up).

First off, a few updates from last time.

Wheels

So far I've put in a little bit of research in this, but haven't decided on what to do. My initial thought was to go for something with a few good features I liked/wanted, something I could easily fit a few people and a few bikes in, and go from there. But after talking with a buddy (who is very transportation-conscious), I rerouted to a similar route from what I did in Portland.

Now, looking at something in the much cheaper range, with hopefully a couple things I like, and see how it goes. But talking about it with some coworkers, they told me to reach out to one of the guys in the shop, as he knows cars pretty well. Sent him an email about it, and we'll see what happens.

Essentially, it's boiling down the transportation mentality between the two cultures. I am so used to having a car, being able to come and go as I please, and have something I can call my own. My buddy is from the other side of the spectrum, and it's really interesting to see how I could make that work. With stuff like Car2Go (Stadtmobil), the local transportation network (inside the city trams and trains outside the city), and the ability to rent a car if I know I've got a longer trip coming up, I really could make it work without owning a car. Truly. But the question for me is if I want to. Hard choice to make there...

Work

I officially started work a week after I arrived in town! I've only put in a couple weeks of work so far, but for technically being new to this team (despite working in it 4 years ago), I feel like I'm already decently underway. Let's back up a second though.

Registration

Why couldn't I get started working right away? Well, because I'm a foreigner, and because Daimler is bringing me over to work, I had to get a visa to live in the country, as well as a visa to work in the country (Arbeitsgenehmigung). Before I could even think about working, this visa had to be approved by the government (which it did in January), but also had to be registered in the area where I was living. Before I could register my work permit, I had to register myself.

In Germany, when you move to somewhere new, as well as move out of the country, you have to register with the local government. Me and all my CBYX cronies had to do this during the program, and this is no different. Thankfully, the relocation company I've been getting support from has helped out with this the whole way.

So, two days after I landed, I was able to get registered as living in the city to the hotel I'm staying at. With that in place, the appointment the following Tuesday allowed me to register my work permit, which let me start work on that Wednesday. Boom. Let's go. I'm officially a Karlsruher (again)!!!

Starting Up

As I said, I used to work in the team I've jumped into. Back in 2016, I had a rotational project under the same manager (Stephan) in the same team, so I know to some degree the environment I'm back in. A few of the team members have changed, but for the most part, things are still pretty similar to what they were back then.

This time though, I'm not coming in with the supposed label of intern, but now more so the label of translator. I think one of the reasons I'm over here is to field all the stuff that comes in from the US, but also be the person that interacts with the US and brings them into the conversation a bit more than everyone else, because I speak English. Not sure how true that is, but that's how it feels sometimes.

BUT, that said, starting to get a better grip of what I'll be doing and what they expect of me over the next X number of years. Gonna have some global test coordination stuff - trying to get each region to develop things from the same source - and some feature testing stuff. Half business, communication, and coordination, and half technical.

Spent a good amount of my time getting profiles setup, relearning where certain things were, getting network drives connected, and sitting in a bunch of meetings. So far so good, but it's going to ramp up a good bit in the next weeks. That said, definitely enjoying being back in a group that actually has things to do and has some form of cohesive organization and idea of what's going on.

The rest of my time at work though was spent on...

Housing

Not having a place to live is really pretty fucking stressful and annoying. Granted, I've got a bed to sleep on every night, and for that I am very thankful. But it kinda feels like I'm back in the dorms in college coming into the lobby every night and going to my room, and then hearing all the people coming and going from their rooms in the hallway. Not a very homely vibe, especially when some dickwad tromps into the hall at 5am on a Saturday.

In order to get out of that setup, I've been (kind of) getting support from the relocation company on my housing search, but I've been doing all of the initial work of finding hopefully what's on the market. In my trip over in December, when I was really kinda supposed to nail down where I'd live, I didn't have a single apartment viewing. Kinda pointless and annoying when that was the intention of the trip.

But, I've stayed as diligent as can be in my end of the deal. I've consistently scoured the few housing/apartment sites that are on the web for Karlsruhe, asked a few people to keep me posted as they find anything, and anything I've found has been tracked in my google sheet and forwarded to the lady helping me. Although she's been super helpful at times, she's been extremely slow to get viewings setup.

Why can't I do all this myself, you ask? I wish I knew that. But in the contract it says the relocation company has to handle all communications because they don't want to confuse things up if I jump into the mix. Annoying for me, because I like to have control of the process and know where things stand. When I'm not controlling it, it makes me nervous.

That nervous anxiety has caused some stress and sleepless nights over the last week or so (not just the jet lag this time). I've felt some pretty big pressure to find someplace quickly, as the end of the month will be here sooner than I realize. And with no viewings, things have not been looking good!!! That, and knowing that I want to find somewhere that I will actually enjoy living in, being in, and all that comes with it, it limits your options pretty quick when you want to make sure it's a place you're actually going to like.

Things kinda turned around at some point though. I had a few viewings planned, and although the first couple were not that great, one of them (Option 68) in the second building stood out. It met most of my criteria, and was good to see something I could finally see myself in. Due to time, we had to rush out of there, but marked it in my mind as a potential yes.

The next place we went to was insane (Option 54). Huge, expansive, beautiful, honestly way more than I'd ever need. Bummer is/was that it's over my budget. Me being stingy, and knowing there are places that fit my needs that are under my budget, I didn't immediately say yes. That and a few other things between those two have caused me some stress in the decision, especially feeling the time pressure to make a choice here soon.

But, had a call with my Daimler Key Account sometime a couple weeks ago, and things are a little bit more relaxed. Yes, it is ideal if I keep the pressure on to find a place sooner rather than later, but as per my Key Account, if I don't find anything at the end of the month it's not the end of the world. They understand the importance to find a place that you can enjoy living in, and so it's not total chaos if I don't find something quickly. Just means I'll have to find a cheap hotel from the time my hotel runs out to when I find an apartment. No sweat, and hearing her reassurance really helped me out.

That said, the search continues. I've still got Option 54 and 68 to decide on, but also have a few more viewings this weekend and early next week. Those should help if not narrow things down, then help out. I want to go back to Option 68 and get a better feel of size (if it's too small or not), and hopefully I can get a few more apartments to view that fit my budget, are a big enough size where I won't feel cramped, have the things I would like, and are in a good part of town. I can have my cake and eat it too, right?!?!???! We'll find out soon enough.

After all that stuff, things got a little more complicated. My container recently arrived, and I have to start paying to store it while I still search. Because there were apartments available (though not that great), the costs to store my stuff fall on me. Annoying, but that's how it goes.

Adding on top of that, this week (third week in town), I went to a viewing of an apartment that met all of my criteria. It was beautiful. Bummer was, I was one of around 8 people that made it into the final round of the selection. Last viewings are tomorrow (Wednesday) and due to some family stuff they won't get around to making the decision until the weekend.

Really, the perfect spot. But unfortunately there's a low chance that I actually get it. That sucks, and has me a little bummed. My ideal solution likely won't happen, but nothing I can do about it. I realize that wherever I end up moving into, a couple months into it all will be well and I won't (hopefully) have much to complain about. But now, since it's all in the moment and now is when I can really influence things, I'm making a big deal out of all of it.

Cross your fingers, Drück deine Daumen, and let's see how this all plays out....

Weekends are for Da Boyz

After getting registered as an official Karlsruher, that first weekend would prove to be a great way to celebrate it. Thankfully, I still know a good group of people here in town, and coincidentally that first weekend was also Super Bowl weekend. Normally that wouldn't mean much in Germany, but a bunch of the frisbee guys I met last time are also football fans.

Starting off, brunch. We all met up for a nice meal at the cafe right around the corner from my hotel. It was great to see everyone once again as they all trickled in. We ate, had some laughs, and tried to decide what to do for the day. It was rainy, and not great, so ideas were getting tossed around, and we finally ended on one that involved being in the wet but fresh air. That settled, we split to go grab stuff and meet up at the sport club house.

Drinking in the Woods

What was the plan now? Bößeln. Think about games you'd start playing on the playground in elementary school. You'd pick up a rock and throw it, your buddy'd do the same. Then you walk over to the thrown rocks and throw them again to try and get to the far corner of the soccer field first. Same concept. Except for this you can roll the ball, and it has to stay on the path. As soon as it rolls of the path, that's where the next person on your team rolls from.

It was awesome. To the people passing by we were just a clump of dudes hanging out drinking beers, but it was a chill game, involved walking through the woods, a little bit of sport, and a healthy amount of general tomfoolery. I love it.

My team lost (though we finished first), but a good time was had. After that we headed back to MTV (MännerTurn Verein - the club that the frisbee team is attached to) and showered off and drank some more. Unfortunately, I had to split off at that point for something else.

But luckily enough I ended up crashing my buddy's bike on the way back to his place. I'm not sure how I fucked up so bad, but I came in at a shallow angle against a small curb and my front wheel didn't make it over. Because of that, the curb took over and directed me right into a car. The cars were fine, but I fucked up the front fork of the bike. Huge bummer, really upset at myself that that happened, but thankfully my buddy was really chill and understanding about it. Still gotta make sure I get him and his wheels back up and running.

French Rap

The reason I had to break off before dinner with everyone was a concert I had gotten tickets to. In Portland I was unbelievably spoiled with how many great concerts would regularly come through town. That was one of the many things I knew I'd miss once I left.

Before I left PDX, I did a little bit of research to see what kind concerts I could find nearby. The first one that worked was Talib Kweli! Not in Karlsruhe unfortunately, but just a short drive down south in France. How cool is that? Just moved to a foreign country, and now heading to a concert a short drive away in the neighboring foreign country.

Jumped in the car and drove down to Strasbourg for the show. As always, google maps was a star in getting me to the right place, and I got in with no problems (free parking, ja wohl!). Showed up right as the openers were starting, and was pretty surprised. I didn't understand a lick of what they were saying, but they were pretty good from what I understood. Here's their song I liked the most - Chimiq by Pumpkin, Vins da Cuero.

They finished up, and I kept standing around until Talib Kweli came out. He put on a pretty good show, but not quite what I was expecting. Did a lot of throwbacks to general hip hop hits which was pretty cool, but didn't touch on his stuff a whole lot. Good show though, and was pretty glad I went. He wasn't out for too long, after he was done I wrapped up and drove back home. Not bad for the first weekend in town.

Trail Work - Trailbau

Earlier in the week I'd emailed the local mountain biking group (if you didn't catch on, there are clubs for everything in Germany...) to see how I could get involved. Bummer that my bikes weren't here yet, but I wasn't going to let that stop me!

Got a quick reply back from one of the guys that they had just received permission to build the second legal trail in Karlsruhe, and the next few weeks they'd planned some build days. Perfect timing! Got up that morning, ate breakfast, and headed out to meet everyone and move some dirt.

Just outside of Karlsruhe, outside of one of the small dorfs, is a pretty big protected nature area. Drove up, found the right place to park, then slowly people trickled in. Got to meet the guy I emailed with, as well as the rest of the small crew. Seemed like some fun dudes.

From there we walked down the trail and eventually made it to where we were going to dig for the day. Once there, we got to work. Ended up cutting a shortcut with a couple berms to cut through a big go-round. I spent a ton of time digging and reinforcing the bottom berm, getting through tons of rocks and roots, and packing it all down. It was only a couple hours of work, but it was nice to get involved, meet some local riders, and have some fun! Looking forward to more builds and (FINALLY) getting back on my bike once it gets here!

Super Bowl - GO PACK GO!!!

Now Germany is not necessarily known for its love of American Football. But, somehow I stumbled upon a group of guys within the frisbee committee that was all about it. Not just that, but a good few of them are Packers fans too. How awesome is that!?!

Well, the fantasy football league they run is more integrated and involved than any I've ever seen. Little did I know the honor that it would become when I got a request a few weeks ago to join. I'm so pumped to be a part of it! Out of all the things going on, the loser of the league in that year is responsible for hosting the Super Bowl Party. Joh lost, so we all converged on his place as soon as Sunday Evening arrived.

Turned out to be an absolutely awesome time. We spent a ton of time working on food, getting snacks and dinner made and ready, then feasted on some veggie burritos/tacos. Nomnomnom. After that we hung around, drank, played some games, and just chilled out. Slowly Martin started getting the Snack Stadium ready (the responsibility of the lowest season point total). I was really impressed with it all. Such a sweet way to celebrate!

More drinking, I busted out some whiskey, more card games and other stuff, and the fun times continued. Eventually the game came and I threw on my Rodgers jersey to cheer on the real team. Fun game to watch, glad the 9ers lost, and it was really interesting to hear Germans watch the game. They understood a lot of what was going on, but from a different angle than having grown up with it my whole life. Good times.

Swingtanzen in Karlsruhe

Well, the first week I got into town, I had it on my calendar to go to a social swing dance that was at one of the local cafe's / small concert halls. Was kinda pumped for it, as I knew I was jet-lagging and was looking forward to doing something other than sitting in my hotel. I decided it was close enough to walk, so I went ahead and took the 45min stroll over and was looking forward to a little dancing.

Got to the building, kinda confused as the place wasn't clearly marked. Eventually found the staircase leading up. On the way up I saw an easel for "Mr. Me" or something like that, but didn't think anything of it.

I walk in, and it's quiet, some background music playing, stage to my left, people chilling at some tables in front of me, and I have a chat with the folks sitting at the table.

"This is the correct place for the social swing dance, correct?" - Me

"Oh, that was last night" - the lady

Welp. That's one shitty way to start things off...

---------

Take number two would happen a week and a half later, the Friday night of my first week of work. The local dance school had a Practice Night on their calendar, so I somehow managed to motivate myself up and out to go and give it a try.

Ended up breaking off from working on this post just in time to catch a Bahn over to the dance school. Easy ride, played some solitaire on the way, then a short walk up from the stop I was there. A little weirded out though, because I didn't hear any music, and when I walked in it was a bunch of slow ballroom-y type music. Was I in the right place?

Debated just leaving, but convinced myself to at least go up and check it out. As soon as I did, the lady asked if I was there for the Practice Night. Sweet, not in the wrong place. Walked back to the room, and still couldn't hear much music, but it was there.

Put my shoes on and got ready! Was able to strike up a conversation with a couple folks (there weren't that many there), and soon enough got to dancing. Definitely a different vibe, with the really quiet music, sticky/dirty floor, not-so-great music compared to what Melissa would always play for classes and such.

Definitely have a lot to learn, and am looking forward to seeing how classes go and such. But regardless, it was nice to get out and dance a little bit again.

RELAX AND DO YOUR THING

Practice Night for swing, I did a lot of watching of the other folks that were there. Definitely some different dancing styles, and watching them, a lot of them didn't seem to know how to stay on beat. As I was walking out, it made me think.

Who cares how you do something you enjoy? All the people there were having fun, enjoying themselves, learning, dancing to whatever beat they found. That's what matters. Relax, enjoy what you're doing and who you are, and let whatever music you hear in life flow through you!

Trail Building - Almost Biking

(realized I already wrote about this above, but oh well.) Once I arrived in town, I tried to get setup with the three activities I knew I was going to pursue in my free time - Ultimate Frisbee, Swing Dancing, and Mountain Biking. In that thread, I emailed the local mountain bike club to see how I could get involved, meet some local riders, and where the good places to ride around are.

Shortly thereafter, I got a response back with some really good timing. That first Sunday there was a Trail Build! The local club just secured a permit for a second legal trail in the local forest (Naturschützgebiet), and they were just about to start building. Perfect Timing!

That first Sunday (and the two following Sundays as well), I headed out to the forest just outside of town and got ready to dig. It ended up being a great time meeting some riders, working on some berms and water drainage and clean up. Didn't have a bike, but it was fun doing some dirt work and watching the other guys try out what we'd worked on.

Through that first day, met some cool dudes in Franz and Stephan, and got connected with them sometime during the weeks for some mexican food and drinks after work. Super laid back, really helpful folks, fun to talk to, and I can't wait to finally get my bikes and do some riding with them!vIt's truly hard not to go crazy in that respect. They are constantly telling me about so many of the great trails in the area. I am itching to get out there and ride them. Cannot wait.

Quick to Stuttgart

This past weekend (now in week 3 or something of being here), after a couple apartment viewings and going to a car dealership to check out a potential car, I drove over to Stuttgart to hang out and crash at my friend Eli's house. He's also an Expat but from Detroit, and working in Stuttgart for Daimler. Him and his family moved over a couple years ago, and they've been a huge support and an absolute hoot to be in touch with over here!

Easy drive over (I LOVE driving in Germany when there's no traffic), and they had a whole spread of mexican food and appetizers all set up. Drank some whiskey, chatted, played some video games, and an altogether great night was had. Crashed on the couch and had some more laid back chats before I had to head out to get back to Karlsruhe for another trail build day.

Culture Shock / Relationships

Talking with Eli's wife Jen reminded me a lot of the stuff both I and my fellow CBYXs went through during our year. She's been having a tough time trying to keep up relationships with people back home, and it was as hard to hear as it is hard to deal with. It sucks that some people don't put as much into relationships as others. Because of that, it's hard to keep up a one way street, and it's so sad to see things falter and fizzle out. It really sucks.

I'm hoping to keep up communication with everyone as best as I can over here. I know I'm not as good at it as I could be (my mom would definitely agree here), but I know I need to keep things up.

Jen and Eli both also talked about how they might be heading back sometime this year (a few things about jobs up in the air), and we touched on the topic of going back. Here, I can definitely say I am extremely lucky to have gone through the cultural immersion and training that I did with CBYX. Despite sending people all over the world to experience a new culture, it sounds like Daimler does not provide any re-entry cultural training.

This is really kinda shitty to hear, as in a lot of ways, Reverse Culture Shock when coming home is worse than the actual Culture Shock when you move somewhere else! It's a bummer that the company, despite giving people the opportunity to experience somewhere completely new, they don't set them up for success and the tools or awareness of the struggles that will come up when you return home. I tried to share my thoughts on the re-entry aspect, where they should be ready for some struggles and difficulties, and will try to share more, but that's somewhere the company should definitely support.

A German Adage

"Nothing makes you run like the dickens like thinking you're going to miss your Bahn by just a few seconds..." - N. Tilson, 2020

I'm Reading...

At the suggestion of my buddy Christoph, I gave Edward Snowden's book Permanent Record a read. Afterwards, I gotta say, it was an enthralling and depressing read. It's mindblowing how much our government has let itself go in assuming it has the right to do things.

Hearing how he came to grips with what he ended up doing (and in my opinion, he is a global hero for doing what he did) was pretty trying. Throw away your entire comfortable, loving life, for a life on the run, or sit idly by as the country you know and work for is discretely destroying all privacy boundaries the world over. In my opinion, he did the right thing. Now we as a world need to keep it going and stand up for ourselves.

Not sure where the motivation came, but after Permanent Record I jumped right into Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftin. This story is about his life and his struggles living in war-torn Somalia, a completely different universe than anything I've ever known.

If you haven't given it a look yet, I definitely recommend it. For me, it was a great insight into a world away, and an interesting insight into a drastically different culture. Of course this is just one person's perspective, but living in a war zone, under the theocratical rule of a terrorist group like al-Shabab is insane.

I could never imagine living in an active war zone, let alone surviving in one for so long like Abdi did. In all, it was a very impressive and impactful story. As I said, there's no way I could ever say I've gone through anything similar to what he went through. Weirdly enough, there were some comparisons to be drawn.

The end of his story talks about arrival in the US as a recipient of a Green Card Visa. He'd been learning about the US all his life through movies, radio, and interactions with people from the US. But once he was there, he felt like he knew nothing about his new country as he tried to assimilate and adjust to his new environment.

My situation living in Germany the first, and to some degree the now two times after, definitely has some parallels. You come into a foreign country with some pre-conceived notions of how things are and you try to prepare for them. But, as soon as you're on the ground, there are so many curveballs and unknowns that get thrown your way, you have no way to adjust to them or know what to do. It's all just a matter of trying to stay on top of what you experience, log it in your databank, and hope you're ready for it the next time around.

Again, definitely an interesting read.

Mindset Shift

In the US, when you need to go somewhere, you think about how to drive there. In Portland I was lucky with it both being a bike-friendly city and me liking to bike, that morphed to my default option. It's a much more fun and healthy way to get places, even if it was a bit slower.

Well, not having my bikes here to start things off has already been a bear. With those not available, my default idea is to drive places. Luckily enough, in the first few days of getting in, all my errands were in the city center, so I was able to walk all of it. On the weekend though, after brunch with a bunch of old frisbee friends, we planned to head to the frisbee/sports club's center in the north of the city. Default idea of getting there - car.

That day, there was a soccer match from the local team. What difference does that make? The streets would be a parking lot. Being so used to driving, I initially didn’t think of a better way to make it all happpen. But hey! We’re in Germany! Public transportation is a huge thing over here!

Having that click in my mind made it work. Literally a five minute difference from driving point to point (not including time to find parking), and walking down the street, jumping in the street car, and going from there. Having such a well built and available mobility infrastructure is such a difference maker.

My goal, once I get settled and have a car, is that if I have anything to do within the city (groceries and maybe a couple other things excepted), I'm not going to do it with a car. I'll have my bikes and all the public transportation available, I need to use them.

Then, for anything further out, I can use a car. But as long as it's within the city, my goal is to do it the healthy, responsible, social way, of leaning on my two wheels and whatever transportation method the city has to offer to get me from A to B.

Leaning on Me

It's come up a few times within the last week, and I gotta say I am super grateful. Eli and Jen, Christoph, my boss, and a few other people have all said they are more than willing to help me out wherever I need it. I just need to let them know.

That is extremely heart-warming and grateful. I really do have so many people around me that are true friends and very generous people. For that I am extremely grateful and lucky.

The down side of this though, I kinda confine myself to myself. This is not a good thing, but it's become engrained in my psyche. Why is that? Well, join me as I try to investigate.

-------------------------------------

Going wayyyyy back, I packed up my tiny life into a few suitcases and bags and flew out to Columbus, OH from Olympia, WA to start school. I was a (looking back) ignorant, stubborn (still am), unaware, and hard-working 18 year old, living in a brand new city halfway across the country from everyone and everything I knew.

As you would expect, I had a number of very trying, difficult times and experiences that I struggled with getting through. Yes, I had people around me then, but even then I didn't have it in my mind that I could really default back onto others. Yes I had some friends, some closer than others, and some more back-stabby than others, but through it all my default reaction was to lean on myself to get through. And for the most part, that worked out pretty well.

Moving on, the next big step was moving to Germany. Yet even further away from everything and everyone I knew, this time with a little wrinkle of a foreign language thrown in to really pepper things up. Now, living in a place where most of the people I could lean on were all going through similar things in different cities, and the people close by probably couldn't understand me totally either because of language or culture, again, I made sure I took care of myself and tackled my problems as they came up.

Since then, I think that's kinda been engrained in me. I do my best to help others, and make sure they know I'm always there to help, support, and be there for them. But no matter how many times I hear that from others, I am very bad at actual acting out on that; bad at bringing other people into my life so I can lean on them. It's not that I don't want to or don't have people there that are willing to be there for me. I'm just not used to it.

This definitely ties in a little bit to the "Alone on the Adventure" section of my last post. There's definitely some correlation to not having a partner on a regular basis to lean on and how I am poor at utilizing the many supportive people that are consistently there for me.

Despite my engrained ways, I need to work on this. I have tons of amazing people around me, many of which have explicitly said they're there to help me. Why is my default to not take this into consideration? I have no idea, but I'm going to work on changing that.

Pictures

The rest of this post is pretty text-heavy, so here are some more pictures :-)

A double rainbow from my hotel room!

A cool walkway outside of the rain

A side street (now my phone background)

A couple pics from one of the many randomly sunny days we've had in February

Next Up...

Well, I'm writing this on Wednesday night, and Saturday (hopefully) I should find out if I get my first choice or have to drop to my second choice apartment. I really hope it's my first choice, but I'm convincing myself I won't get it so I won't be more let down that I have to...

Gotta do some car shopping, as that return date is coming up in less than 2 weeks. Gotta really start getting all the initial big things checked off and taken care of. Slowly getting there.

As soon as I move in, first thing I'm doing is putting my bikes together and getting out there. Holy hell I can't wait for that!

But, we'll see what else is gonna happen. Starting to finally put some trips on the calendar. And for all you readers out there interested, I'll likely be back in the US from July 8-28th. I can't wait to see all the lovely folks I can in that timeframe!

Original Publish Date: February 19th, 2020