SLOGGING OUT OF 2021

Jump to...

After the amazing, wonderful, exciting, and incredible adventure that was my three-week roadtrip in Scotland, my mindset was hanging on to that sense of adventure. The previous year, year and a half, was such a stifling and hard time. For everyone, everywhere. Then, being able to travel home for the first time in a while for 5 weeks, and then directly head off to 3 full weeks of adventure through an amazing country, my travel mindset was back in vogue. And goddamn it felt good.

To add to that, upon returning from Scotland, the covid mindset and situation in Germany was still accepting of that mindset. I felt like the world was open, things were within reach, and my mindset was definitely relieved because of that. Not wanting to let that sense of adventure leave, fizzle out, or go away, I tried to take advantage of it as best I could.

A New Steed

As soon as I got back from Scotland, only a couple days after getting everything unpacked and back home, I had the old Patrol on the stand and was ready to tear it down. It was a sad process, seeing my old bike have to go, but as this phoenix burned down, a new one rose from its ashes.

To save you if you don't want to read about it, I put the details of the build (and the bike!) over here in the bikes section for those interested. But, I've got me a new bike!!!

Some Random Things from the First Weeks Back

Unfortunately I couldn't just work on my new bike. Coming back from vacation I had a full plate of stuff to do at work. Most of that dealt with the ongoing SW Workshop we had in place, but the fun part of that was a day-drive to get out and test our features. It was a fun little excursion with the team driving around Pfalz Forest and Hills, and although it was work, it was a beautiful day and a beautiful area for a drive! And the best part about it, since I was now the owner of a German CDL, I could drive as well!!!

One morning, while walking out to my car, something was wrong. After taking a look at the car, I discovered the cover for my driver's-side rearview mirror was gone. I didn't see any shards of anything on the ground, and the rest of the car was in perfect order, but the cover was missing. Not sure how the fuck that happened, or what happened for that matter, but I was a good bit peeved. Thankfully the part was findable online, and I was able to find a piece that matched the current paint job, but what an extreme annoyance...

Either that Thursday or Friday, I was in the mood for a grill out. Thankfully, thanks to my great friends Jen and Eli, I now had a grill! I'd never used a charcoal grill, but after smoking out the balcony for a hot second, I had the coals rolling and was ready to go.

Regardless of when/how, cooking for one isn't the best. Especially when it comes to something requiring a good bit of work. But, that aside, dayum a fresh grill out tastes delicious. I put together a little steak and some hobo-stew veggies, and feasted. Definitely need to crank that thing out more often!

That first weekend, I was invited over to the Weis household for a good old-fashioned German cook-out! I was 5-10min late from the designated start time, but everyone was already on to the main course and looked like they'd all been there a good few hours. Felt bad, but I rolled in, got squared away with some delicious food, and commenced the grubbing. So delicious.

Ended up sitting around, hanging out, and chatting with everyone the whole night, and it was a great time. Funny stuff, but Christoph went wayyy too hard on the schnapps, and had a bit of a funny exit. I ended up heading home late after a great time meeting and seeing everyone.

That next morning, I was invited to go play some football with my frisbee/fantasy football buddies! Hot damn, I was pretty stoked, and even threw on my Rodgers jersey ready to go! Well I rolled up and boy did I feel like an idiot. Fußball in German does not mean Football in English, but rather soccer. So we played soccer. I need to learn how to read.

I wish I would've had some kind of toutelage or experience growing up with soccer. The defensive side I feel like I'm pretty decent at. But offense, trying to be coordinated with my feet and do something beneficial, I felt kinda useless. I got some decent kicks in, but overall had a great time on the warm summer morning with my buddies despite feeling like a total liability.

The rest of that weekend I just cranked on my new bike a ton and napped a ton. Finishing off the weekend was some football viewing with my football crew. Always a great way to wrap up the weekend.

The second week back I got to get back in touch with Christoph and Mischa, my motley crew. Our first meetup was at Linden's Irish Pub, for none other than a pub quiz! I'm always a fan of games and stuff, and pub quizzes are an extra joy! I'll always remember back to the big win I got with my Oly Crew at UW, a huge roaring success to celebrate graduation. But here, with our three man crew named the Die Faßbrausen, we ended up snagging third place and a luxurious bottle of champagne! Go us!

Sometime during that week, I ended up heading to an audiologist to get my hearing checked out. Not sure when/if I've touched on this, but ever since I had COVID in April, my hearing has been a bit weird. Dependent upon where I'm listening to music (in my car, at home, with my headphones, etc.), songs sound different. Songs I've listened to thousands of times and know exactly how they sound, don't sound how they should. It's been annoying and freaking me out a good bit.

Thinking I essentially might've lost recognition of a certain band of frequencies or sounds, I figured it'd be good to get things checked out. I found an audiologist nearby and had an appointment setup. Long story short, my hearing is just fine. After the test, the doc said I'm not lacking recognition of any frequencies, but didn't have any explanation as to my issues. This problem is still ongoing, and honestly it's confusing and annoying the hell out of me...

Bike Tour to the Technik Museum

With that feeling of adventure and exploration still in my head, the summer weather still providing great temps and vibes throughout the region, and Covid not (yet) rising up to a critical point, I knew I had to take advantage of it. What way to do that than heading to one of the number of places in the Rhein valley I have yet to explore. So one fine Saturday, with the sun shining and blue skies above, I jumped on my bike and headed north. Easy to do and enjoy with the wonderful bike paths all around here!

The long journey took me pretty far north, almost 30mi along the Rhein river until I reached the town of Speyer. There, I had a wonderful bit of engineering porn to go check out, The Technik Museum!

I'd heard about this place (and it's sister museum in Sinsheim) quite a while ago (in large part thanks to Dusty G!), but was only now taking the chance to finally make my way up there. The great weather, the great bike, and a great chance to explore finally had me in gear and up there. And let me tell you, I was in for a treat! Even outside of the place they had a plane or two, and the giant 747 up on stilts was visible from all around.

The museum is right next to an airfield. Makes sense, because that's a pretty sensible way for planes to get there. But after the long bike ride up, I took my little packed lunch to a grassy knoll overlooking the airstrip and snacked away. Not gonna lie, I make some damn good sammiches, and this one fit that bill well. But, satiated and energized, I headed into the museum!

In short, this place was awesome. The main hall was an insane hodge-podge of a huge variety of vehicles, planes, trains, buggys, and all things moving. Seriously, it was incredible! I took my time winding my way along the aisles, taking in the gigantic Bundesbahn Steam engines (one from Magdeburg!), a few boats and fire trucks, and a bunch of little oddities. Really, what a cool mix!

I gotta admit, I was a little weirded out and shocked with how many vehicles and pieces were from the third reich. I don't think I saw any swastikas (as that would've been wayyyy out of place), but it was crazy to see how much was related to WWII and that era.

From the first big hall, I then walked out to the big courtyard to head into the giant Space Building!!! I love me a little space stuff. Maybe not as much or as in-depth as my buddy Zack, but the machinery required to get out and explore the cosmos, and the stories in doing so, always blow my mind. Well, this visit would do just that!

I've read up a little bit about the Soviet space program that was underway during the Cold War, and one of the stories within that program was the Buran Shuttle Program. Seemingly a 99% match to the US Shuttle Program's vehicle from the exterior, the USSR was working on the development of a similar reusable orbital vehicle, with a notable jump in capability compared to NASA's product. If you're interested, here's a pretty sweet site showing some more detailed information on the Buran.

The final flight-intent Buran shuttles are located in a giant hanger at the Baikonur Cosmodrome (and there've been a few people to sneak in and risk some deep shit with Russian authorities to go check them out!). But as I opened the doors and walked in, I was absolutely floored to see one of the prototype/test shuttles front and center taking up the whole building!!!

As you can imagine, I was completely floored. After reading about this program a bit, and seeing some incredible pictures and videos of the remnants of the program online, I had NO IDEA that I'd run into a prototype in real life! I was absolutely jazzed! First things first, I explored all the signs and info on the ground and then walked around the big craft on display. Tons of cool things about the program, including a wind-tunnel prototype, and some other great space stuff to check out.

From the ground it was time to head up. The staircase at the rear led up to the payload bay, and from there you had a wonderful view into the bay of the beast, as well as a quick look into the cockpit. Seriously, what an incredible piece of machinery! I was totall jazzed with this thing, and savored every bit of being able to check it out.

To go along with the tons of info on the Buran and the Soviet Space Program, there was a huge section dedicated to the feats of the Apollo Program from the US and NASA. DOOOOOOOOOPE. Tons of information, huge images outlining the mission and goals of each of the moon landings, and tons of insight that I got to learn about from each of the missions. I felt like a little kid as I just plopped down on the floor in front of some of the signs to read the incredible feats of a technilogical feat, the likes of which humanity hasn't seen in decades.

There were a few other things in the building, but after taking a look at all the incredible space stuff, I couldn't really take my focus off of them. I went up to the upper floors, got to read about the Space Shuttle Missions (some like 130 of them), then on the other side read about the Soviet Space Missions, but then just kinda walked by all the motorcycles and such (seriously, there's so much stuff at this museum!). Then, before leaving the building, I wound my way up to the roof to get a glimpse of the town of Speyer and a top view of the museum.

Once I exited the Space Building, I headed over to the cafe. I was a bit hungry and tired and needed a bit of a break. A little coffee and cake, I took a load off in the shade of a wing of the F-4 Blue Angel and enjoyed the siesta.

Next up, I headed up to the top to climb around the gigantic 747 hanging over the whole museum. Not sure how in the hell they got that thing up there, but what an impressive setup! They had a whole stop-light system of when you could go up but I made my way up to the top, climbed around the insides of the gigantic plane, and then was a little jealous of all the kids that were sliding back down to the courtyard as I rejectedly took the stairs. Oh the life of a kid.

Back on the ground, I wandered around the far side of the courtyard, and what a cornucopia of cool machines. A gigantic Antonov cargo plane (double rotors on all of the four engines), a wicked looking MiG helicopter, a cool building with a ton of boat models, a gigantic Coast Guard boat with a little boat on it, and even a crazy U-Boat submarine. Cool stuff.

While cruising through the U-Boat, I got a good feel of how prudish the US is. In the toilet of the sub, they'd set up a mannequin with his pants down, toilet paper in his hands, and a playboy magazine on the counter. You can imagine what he was doing. In Germany, it's funny. The guys stuck in a steel tube under the water, he's likely going to relieve himself at some point. In the US, you'd NEVER see something like this. Sex is way too taboo of a topic, and god forbid any child walking through would ever see something this obscene.

Slowly, having covered nearly everything at the gigantic junk drawer of incredible engineering machines, I wandered to the other side of the courtyard. There were yet still a few things to check out. Some tanks, boats, more gigantic steam engines, and lots to see. I love gigantic trains, and the Russian and Chinese locomotives there were impressive.

The thing I said about swastikas and WWII earlier, I forgot. There were some there...

By that time, I was getting tired from my museum-walking-pace. That, and I think I took in all the incredible machines riddled throughout the campus. A little museum'd out, I strolled out of the buildings and out of the foyer, and was back to my bike and ready to ride home.

The Rheinland-Pfalz side of the Rhein has (surprisingly) better trails for biking and walking. As I set off from Speyer, I meandered my way around the airport, through the industrial area, and was off and running on the wonderful trails. After a half-hour, hour of riding, and with the Rhein off to my side, I pulled off to take a break. There was a nice staircase there that I pulled up to sit at. With a few boats going up and down with their cargo, I took in the wonderful evening on the water.

Back on the trail I was off and running. But, unfortunately, losing some energy. The initial plan was to bike all the way home. But slowly, my mental fortitude and energy were making it look like that wasn't going to happen. I finally decided to change things up, and took an early bridge back over to the other side of the river.

Back in Baden-Württemberg, I found some more trails, wandered through a few small towns, and eventually wound up in Hochstetten. The path to the S-Bahn station took me by a big field, and that time of the year, the little town had a little Oktoberfest party going on. I thought about jumping in, but went over and watched the amateur soccer match for a while as the sun was wandering off. But, tired and still far from home, I eventually rode down to the train stop, jumped in the S-Bahn, and caught a ride back home after a wonderful Saturday adventure!

Some More Quick Hits

One day as I was headed to Kaufland after work to pick up some groceries (aka milk and some other things), I got blasted with this incredible sunset. I randomly opted to park in the parking garage (I normally park on the ground lot), but up on the top floor I got a great view on some incredible colors stemming from the sun heading off for the day. I had to stop and take it in, just bummed I didn't have my camera on me!

I love getting mail. I'm living over here in a (now not-so) foreign country, so far away from all of my friends and family back home in the US. So whenever I get some mail, it's an automatic delight. When I rolled home one day and saw a letter from my buddy Zack, with a great picture of us from the bike trip in Oregon from the summer, that really put me in a great mood. A great picture, great letter, and great remembrance of why he's such a good friend of mine. Miss you Zack (and can't wait to see you in a week!)

All those back in the US know 420 - the police call sign for marijuana-related activity. License plates here in Germany always begin with letters, letters related to the Landkreis (County) where the vehicle is registered. Well in Germany, I've come to enjoy reading cars' license plates and seeing what kind of words or fun stuff the license plate reads out to. This one made me laugh, as Gerne means happily/gladly, and 420 see above.

On one Tuesday night after work I jumped into Rupert and instead of heading home, headed out to Stuttgart for the night. Why? To see Lutz! He was in town during vacation and I was able to break away and head over to see him. Great to get in touch, catch up face-to-face, and hang out for a couple hours. We had a nice time grabbing some grub, drinking some beers, and chatting before I headed home to grab some sleep before work the next day.

A Work Workshop

For the first time since the pandemic, my department decided to meet face-to-face and have a workshop. Since we still had covid to deal with, a number of precautions and guidelines were set up, but with all that in place I jumped in the car (ditched the carpool because I had plans for afterwards) one fine Thursday morning and wandered my way over to Schwäbisch Hall.

Weirdly enough, there were a good number of people in the department that I'd never met before. Getting the chance to have a F2F helped me see just how long that list of people was! Along with meeting a bunch of new people, I was also to be able to see and catch up with so many other coworkers that I rarely see but interact with frequently. It's a bit weird being in the 'satellite' office in Wörth when almost the whole department sits in Stuttgart.

Well, the workshop was good, as far as workshops go. The food at the hotel was pretty good (and swanky), and after the first day we all met up at the bar for drinks to wind down. Dinner (delicious) came and went, and then at night we had a night tour through town booked up. That was pretty fun, but the lady doing our tour was a little difficult to understand, so there was a good bit of information I likely missed. Despite that, I enjoyed the night time stroll, took in the gorgeous little town of Schwäbisch Hall, and tried to understand what I could.

Once the tour was over, it was back to the hotel to drink at the bar. No matter where I am, what I'm doing, or who I'm with, it ALWAYS astounds me at how proficient Germans are at talking and drinking, and those two mix together perfectly and they can do it til the cows come home. I only lasted til a bit before midnight (free drinks were done ~22:30) but some were up til 01:00, 02:00, 03:00. Damn.

The next day was full of activity, and I ended up presenting for my group on a couple things. And you guessed it, full Nial Style - quick and dirty. That session was running long, and I was the last one to present, so naturally I had to go quick, get all my stuff out, and all auf Deutsch. Despite how much I outwardly let on, I still get pretty nervous in front of people. But I got through this all well and good.

Day 2 was slowly starting to wind down, and I started to get jumpy. Eventually, our boss gave the ceremonialy goodbye pleasantries, and at last told everyone to get some coffee before heading home. As soon as he said that though, I heard the school bell ring and was off and running. I said a few quick goodbyes, but as soon as I could I was gone. I bolted to the car and I was off. Why the rush? Mountains. MOUNTAINS. And I was quickly on my way to the Alps!

Backpacking in Gramais

Jumping into Rupert I headed straight for a gas station to fill up. Topped off and ready to go, I hit the road. Thankfully, there was essentially no traffic. That helped me motor my way south and get to Austria in pretty good time. Thinking I needed the toll way placard, I stopped off to get it and a couple snacks. But where I was heading was not on any main highways, so I essentially donated a few Euros to Austria's highway maintenance. Hopefully they put it to good use.

Once within the border, it was a quick drive down to Lechtal, where I headed right and wandered up the valley. Dorf after Dorf came along, and soon enough I got to the turn-off and was flabbergasted by the steep road ready to take me way up into the mountains. But despite the windy road, I weaved my way up and along the hillside to get to the little alpine village of Gramais. Thankfully, unlike Füssen in the spring, I found a 24h parking spot, paid my fee, slapped on my hiking gear, gathered all my stuff, and I was off to the mountains!

I made it down to the Alps in pretty good time, and was just hitting the trail as the sun was going down. Thankfully that gave me a lay of the land and some neature to look at to start, but as I made my way to the uphill part of the uphill trek, darkness descended. My goal was to make it to a little lake up in a bowl for the night, so I kept chugging along. It got reaaaaaallll chilly as things went on, but I was staying warm enough with the pack on my back, a clear sky, and still chugging along up the mountain.

After a good couple hours of motion and hiking, I found my way up to the desired alpine lake. Headlamp on, I hunted around for a flat, rock-less, comfy spot to set up shop. It took me a while. But I eventually found a flat spot that would be perfect. This was the first time I'd set up the tent in a while, and I was really happy to be doing so! Mountain air, my trusty tent, and a wonderful weekend out ahead of me. I was happy.

Before I could turn in though, I was once again presented with the entirety of the stars above me! A huge benefit of hiking at night, especially up in the mountains on a clear night, you get to see galaxies all over the sky. Just like back in Scotland a few weeks prior, I took full advantage of the opportunity. Because it was damn cold out, I put on all my layers of clothes and had my sleeping back over me to stay warm as I was watching the stars, and what a treat!

Eventually through, I wound down and headed to bed. I'm not sure why or how but a good bit of music was floating through my dreams. Weirdly enough, as I realized when I woke up, it wasn't music that I knew to exist. I'd somehow dreamed up a bunch of random beats and tunes (some with a few words I couldn't remember), and had a little concert in my mind while I slept. Not sure how else to describe it, but it was pretty cool. Bummer I couldn't mentally record any of it. To add to it, there were a few real songs that jumped in the rotation (When the Levee Breaks, Don't Turn Around) too. Musical magic.

Once again I got to experience the magic of waking up at a place you haven't yet seen in daylight. After a fairly poor (and cold) night's sleep, I opened up the tent and was astounded with the beautiful view right out in front of me.

After waking up and taking in the increible spot I woke up in, I gathered myself, tried to warm up, and then made some breakfast to get the day going. I had some Mountain House ready to go and coffee at hand to try and get me warmed up, and it was so relaxing to sit there, in the mountains, no one in sight or ear shot, with a few Ibex climbing around on the hill to the left, and nothing but time to enjoy the incredible mountains I found myself in the middle of.

With breakfast in the belly and some coffee down and energizing, I packed up camp and was almost ready to go. Before heading further up the mountain, I walked back to the ridge of that bowl to look out over the valley I'd come up the night before. Always incredible to have a shot overlooking a gigantic, beautiful range of stark mountainous peaks. And that's just what I was looking at.

Needless to say, I was super happy to be up in the mountains. Knowing I had a beautiful day on my hands, I was ready to continue climbing, so I made my way up and out of the alpine lake bowl. The first order of business for the day - summit! The trail out of the bowl rolled up the side and then stopped off first at a saddle. I took a look down the other side to an incredible view, and then noticed a sign with a little timeline of that spot. But now, time to climb.

From the saddle the 'trail' (would've been a little more clear without all the snow and ice) dove back into the shadow on the backside of the peak. There wasn't a ton of snow there, but enough to kinda hide where to go and make me have to hunt around for the trail markers. But despite the shade and the drop in temp, I worked my way up, and slowly but surely made my way up to the top. NOTHING like sitting up on a tall peak, in the middle of a mountain range, with blue skies and no clouds to find, to be able to just take it all in. Once up at the top, I wrote my name in the summit book, and then sat around for a while taking in the beautiful sights.

After an extensive break in the delightfully warm sunlight, I grabbed my pack and started the descent. From the peak the trail followed the ridgeline down to another saddle below. From there, I had a choice to make. I was planning on going right to continue down that new valley, but a spur of the moment choice had me going quasi-straight, up a different trail, and over towards another peak. It was a bit snowy and uneven, but I tramped my way up. I had no intentions of climbing any of the peaks or towers over there, but was able to sneak some great views between some rocks over to another direction of the alps off yonder.

Doubling back I worked my way back down to the saddle, and from there, took the trail down the small hill to the little lake right there. I was in a pretty laid back mood, so I figured that'd be a perfect spot for a snack and a break. Boy was I right. I strolled over to the far side of the lake to give a small family their spot for some fun, found a place to plop down, whipped out my kindle, and got in some reading with a quick nap mixed in. Sitting in the sunlight, such a great way to relax up in the mountains.

Rested, relaxed, and ready to continue on, I jumped back on the trail and worked my way down the valley. Slowly, I wound my way down with the valley, and was absolutely astounded by the giant wall out in front of me. Somehow, the layers of rock had folded into a taco but were still part of a massive ridge standing above me. Crazy stuff.

At the end of the valley, the trail curved left and hugged that big taco rock, and eventually led up to another big high-alpine bowl. It was some up and down, which made me a little tired being towards the end of the day, but I eventually made it to a big plateau. There, right next to it, was a little hut, shelter! Bummer, it was all locked up (including the toilet...), but nearby was a bunch of land that looked primo for a camping spot. I dropped my pack and did some hunting around for another flat, fairly inconspicuous spot to set up shop for the night. Not much longer later, I found my target and camp was ready to go.

I took advantage of the fact that there was still a little daylight left, and got everything set up and ready for bed. Once that was taken care of, it was dinner time, and I was hungry. Little camp chair in place, water heating up, sleeping bag as a blanket, and me comfy as a cucumber, I had one helluva view for dinner.

Since it had been quite a while since I'd tented outside, the last night was pretty damn cold. In my hiking around during the day though, experience came back into mind and got me more ready and aware of how to sleep in cold weather. Using that hidden knowledge, once I was cold, well-fed, tired, and ready for sleep, I tucked in for the night.

It was another cold morning, but I slept pretty well and was warm-enough throughout the night. Once again, I woke up to an absolutely fabulous view as I got up, made and ate breakfast, and then tore down camp. Found a spot to let nature call, and then feeling a little lighter and energized, I was off and running.

The goal for the day was another peak - Leiterspitze - and so I started making my way in that direction. The trail hugged a ridge as I left the plateau, and soon enough, I'd run into my first bit of neature for the day. Say hi to the Ibex!

Knowing there was a little life in the snowy, rocky, high alpine landscape, made me satisfied to know nature was up and active. I was still hiking in the shadow of the peaks though, so although there was some life, the temps were still pretty cold. No worries though, me and my pack were hiking uphill and staying quite warm in the process.

Slowly but surely, I wound my way up. First up to a small lake, where I took a break to listen to the water running and take in the muted colors in the mountain's shadow, and the vibrant ones outside of the shadow. There, at the lakeside, and a little later on from a ridge right above the lake, I got to spy on another unsuspecting Ibex just perusing the hillside for something yummy. Isn't that neat!

After a little bit of hiking up above the lake and along the little cliff, I slowly edged closer and closer to sunlight. Soon enough, I was in it! Kinda felt like the morning of summiting the Annapurna Circuit, such a wonderful switch from shadow to light in the high alpine environment!

But now, with sunlight draped on me and all around me, what a bright and wonderful day I had in my hands. Watch out though, I couldn't zone out for too long, because a hop, skip, and a jump later, I was surprised by yet another Ibex! And then adding to it, Big Bad Mr. Ibex popped up top of the ridge with his giant stack of horns!

Pushing on from the big horned beast, I kept along the trail as it slowly worked its way up towards the top bowl. Towards the top, as the trail switchbacked its way up to the saddle, it just became a rock slide. I got a bit annoyed as one dude was coming down and just jumping all over the place. I wasn't in the mood to get crushed by a ton of rocks. I waited for him to pass, then slowly worked my way up the hill to get to the saddle. A bit of a sketchy, slidy, slippery stretch, but I made it.

My plan from there was to take the little trail from the saddle all the way up to the peak. No sweat, normally. But, that trail was all on the shade (north) side of the peak, and although it was still early fall, there was already a good bit of snow and ice built up throughout.

Despite that, I pushed on and was looking to get to the summit. Right from the get-go it got a little sketchy. Ice on rock does not make for great traction, and even at the base I had to re-route and really think through how I was going to get up there. Not having any kind of safety devices, wearing a decently sized pack, and trying to figure out where the trail markers were, made me much more sketched out than I anticipated. I took my time, tore up my gloves trying to grab hold of the rocks for stabilization, and tread lightly and in a calculated manner.

There were a couple really sketchy spots, where I was really glad I've got some experience with rock climbing, that I was able to safely make my way through and up. Slowly but surely, I made my way past the hairy sections, and after long last I'd reached the top! Pack and all! And what a beautiful sight! :-)

You know the old saying, "what goes up must come down"? Well, that had me worried, and the descent was hanging very trepidatiously in my head. So much so, that I was not able to really enjoy the great sights up top. I was only worried about and thinking about the sketchy climb up, and worried that it'd be even sketchier going down.

But soon enough, the worry of the descent took over. The fact of being alone in the mountains and in such beautiful landscapes is what I always strive for. When sketchy situations arise though, that's when I get a little nervous, and I was a little nervous here.

I had enough mental space to take a couple pictures, get my name in the summit book, and sit for a few minutes. Then, it was time to go down. I kept reassuring myself to just take it slow, be smart, and not rush anything. Trust your feet and hands and it'll all work out. Here goes...

Long story short, I kinda worked myself up for nothing. Maybe the climb down wasn't all that bad because I prepared myself and was cautious, but after recognizing a few spots that I was worried about for the climb down, I breezed through them (calmly, cautiously, and coolly) and was back at the saddle before I even knew it. Maybe taking things slow is the right way to go... Needless to say, I was pretty relieved to be back down! Really bummed I didn't have the mental strength to stay for a while longer at the top to enjoy it, but back on more-sure ground I was in good spirits and ready to continue on.

From the saddle and continuing on, it was back into the shade and down a snowy slope. For the most part, the snow was pretty soft and enjoyable, but the icy bits made for some crunch and having to watch where you stepped. It was a steady walk down though, and soon enough I'd found my way back into the sunlight. Every time, what a nice warm blanket it is to come out of the shadows and be bathed by the warmth of the sun. Also, in the last pic of this next group, that was the ascent that I got a little sketched out on to the top of Leiterspitze.

There is a shitton of air traffic over the alps. From the peaks and up at high elevation, you really get to hear (and mostly see) all of it. I can't remember where or when I saw this, but decades ago, if one was trying to record a full hour of sound without any human trace in it (no cars, planes, music, talking, etc.), it took roughly 3-7 hours to do so. In that same vein though, today, trying to accomplish that, it takes something like 30-70 hours. It's amazing how much our species has interrupted this earth and in so many ways.

Down at the next saddle, I had a wonderful view looking out in either direction, so I took some time to take it all in. Here, on my stable and sure ground, it was a little easier for me to not stress out about the coming descent. From one break at the top of the saddle, to hiking for 10-20min to another break, then another hiking spurt to another break another 10-20min down the trail. The sun was out, skies were blue, mountains bathed in great light, and the afternoon was feeling fantastic. I couldn't not stop to take in the beautiful views (and give my legs a rest) as I started the trail on down.

As the trail slowly worked its way down from the top of the valley and got further and further down, I descended into a bigger bowl. This one was what led to all of the valleys I'd explored thus far, and was a cool spot to look back and take in the trail I'd come through in the last two days. The coolest part of that though, was the plethora of waterfalls that were streaming down from each of those valleys. Rocks and trees blanketing the valley walls, the incredible cacophony of water falling was all around me. What an awesome and powerful sound. Also, Ibex quite literally sound like crows when they yell.

Around that time I'd reached the point of the trail where it was all downhill from there on out. My knees were tired, body sore, but time to put my head down and keep on chugging along. The symphony of waterfalls and views amongst the growing tree cover remained, so at least I had something to listen to and look at throughout the descent.

The descent from the saddles and high-alpine bowls down to the tree-covered walls of the valley is really like transporting yourself into another realm. Going the other way, from trees to alpine, is just as if not more drastic. But being able to transfer from completely unique realms through a little hiking and elevation change is so awesome.

Kinda near the bottom of the steep descent, I stopped off for a break to take some pictures in a pretty clear opening of the trees. I snapped a couple pictures, then plopped down to take a load off and rest for the final push. As I was sitting there, a dude came up the trail headed the opposite direction.

Not only was I surprised to see someone else up there (I'd seen one other person the whole day), but I was surprised to start up a nice little conversation with the guy. He was headed up to camp out on the top of Leiterspitze and grab the sunset. Not only was I (A) not sure where he was gonna sleep on the rocks up there, but (B) jealous, because he was in for an incredible sunset up at the top! He'd been up there last November for a similar climb, and said there are tons of great routes among the peaks in that area. Well, before we both headed our own way, he asked to snap a picture of me to remember our quick little chat. Of course I obliged, and was pleased to have such a delightful interaction with a fellow solo-hiker!

Trudge trudge trudge, descend descend descend, and voilá! Down to the bottom I'd hiked. That was one helluvan ascent in that last stretch. But from there on out it was a smooth hike along the river to get back to town. I took my time of it (and was pretty ready for it to be over with the whole way), but still had a ton of great views to enjoy along the way. Soon enough, I got my first glimpse of the town and knew the end was close.

Getting into Gramais, the first thing was apparently a small ski hut. There wasn't a ton of elevation change there, but seemed to be enough for the town to put together a little lift once the big snow came! I strolled on past that and into the town. Luckily enough I found a toilet on the way (likely meant for hikers like me) to freshen up for a quick second. Then, from there, crossed the little bridge, took a left down the hill, and was lucky to find Rupert sitting there patiently waiting for me to return. As always, being able to take the boots off and unload my pack was a huge relief. It was a long and wonderful weekend of hiking, but my body was ready for a break.

After de-booting, getting my sandals on, and getting some stretching in, I jumped in the car and was headed home. Hungry after the long day, I only had one thing in my mind. Weaving and winding my way down the steep road to get back to Lechtal, I turned right and headed towards the highway. Thankfully, in Reutte, I found the place I was looking for, and stopped in to get my post-hike feast.

After that fuel-up, and getting Rupert topped off, I pointed towards the freeway and headed home. What a great weekend climbing around in the alps.

Hiking in the Alps - Maybe a Misconception?

Throughout that weekend of wandering around the Alps, I got the feeling that hiking here in these European mountains is a bit different than what I'm used to back in the PNW. The majority of the weekend, I was at or above about 2000m elevation (~6500ft). The evening I hiked in was all uphill, from Gramais to the first campsite was ~1300mm to ~2100m (700m up). And then the descent from the saddle back down about the same. The rest of the time I didn't drop below 2000m. Because of this, I kinda have the feeling that to truly hike in the Alps, you've gotta slog uphill for a while just to get to some really good stuff.

Back home, I feel like there's less of a huge elevation charge or entry requirement, just to get to the alpine/good stuff. Granted, I've got a terrible memory, but I don't remember any/many hikes where it was a 700m/2000ft straight up to get to some ups and downs and variation in the mountains. There are definitely a lot of ups and downs back home, but they seem a little more evened out.

Not sure if I'm making any sense (I'm really bad at putting thoughts to words, as I'm slowly finding out), but it feels like in the Alps, there's a standing need to have to hike up a huge stretch just to get up and out of the valleys and into the alpine stuff. Maybe I'm pigeon-holing my argument here, but that's at least what's in my mind, for now.

The Productive Side of Fall

I'll touch on the flip side of the end of the year down below, but although I felt overloaded and stressed the whole time, I was able to do some cool stuff to end 2021. Some biking, some projects, some hanging with friends, and even taking advantage of the first bit of snow of the season. From essentially the time I got back from Scotland to now, I've felt unable to accomplish all that I want to accomplish, and it's honestly been stressing me out. But, as I said, here's some of the cool stuff I was able to dive into in that timeframe.

New Project Progress

After getting the idea and agreeing to make a few of them in the summer, I'd finally gotten around to making headway on my next project. Materials were in place, design idea pretty much all set, now it was time to get down to brass tacks and start this thing!

Late October I finally got around to start the cutting and building of the beer case toppers I'd had in the back of my mind since early summer. But, now being home, materials in hand, I had to get to work, so that's what I did! Using my handy-dandy outdoor workbench I'd convert my patio to a woodshop for an evening at a time and slowly crank bits and pieces out. First was getting all the individual pieces cut to size; then getting the edges routered, rounded, and chamfered down; next cutting the biscuit slots to be able to join them all together; and then finally the worst/most annoying step of all - sanding everything down. Seriously, I hate the step of sanding. Tedious and time consuming. But it is pretty sweet to be able to swipe your hand along a baby-smooth piece of wood sanded down to 240 grit knowing it's ready.

As of writing this in mid-December, all 6 of the toppers are assembled, sanded down, and ready to go, but now I need to stain them. I have no idea why I'm dragging my feet so long on getting them stained, but they've been waiting for a coat of color for a good month and a half. I'll get to them, eventually, and they'll be a great little addition once they're done.

The First Rides with the New Steed

With my new bike up and running, I had to give it the inaugural ride to see what she could handle! First choice - Freiburg. Freiburg is probably my favorite place to ride around here, so I knew I had to give the new ride a good test to start things off. One fine Sunday October morning, I loaded her up and headed south to hit the trails on a sunny fall day.

As always, the trails in Freiburg were awesome. The climb up is one helluva push, but I was able to fit in a good few laps on Baden to the Bone and Borderline to give the new ride a first look. And hot damn she held up pretty well! There was one drop I wasn't ready to hit, but all the other stuff I'd done before were no problem. Smooth, jumpy, steep, all were no sweat. So the first taste of the new ride ended up being a great success!

For the second ride, about a month later, I headed up to Heidelberg on a fresh, cloudy morning to give my second favorite trail group a try. The bike was rocked and ready, and so was I.

Yet again, the bike lived up to the hype. The first run I did took me down the far side to my favorite spot there. A really flowy, jumpy, fun section at the bottom of the hill, and despite the fall day and the slight wetness, everything was running great. From there, I took the long pedal up back to the top, and got a good few more laps in to fully test the new ride. So thankful to have a bike back in the quiver and to be able to keep my riding going! It's unfortunately tapered off this fall/winter so far, but with good weather (and a hopefully more empty task list!), this thing will be rearing and ready to go!

Ever-wrenching and seeing what I can tinker with, this bike is no exception to that. The frame initially came with a coil shock, but I knew pretty much from the get-go that I wanted to throw an air shock on there. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything in Europe, new or used, and was bummed I wouldn't be able to find anything in general. Thankfully, I had a few colleagues flying over from the US in early December, and was able to use them to shuttle a part and some other things over for me! Since there were some parts available in the US, I had one sent to them, they brought it over to Germany for me, and a week or so after, I had my bike floating like a cushion. Looking forward to the first ride on the new shock and getting back to that shreddy lifestyle!

Rhein Biking and a Break

Not to leave my 'road' bike high and dry, one fine November morning, Christoph and I jumped out to go for a little ride. The weather was brisk and the skies were grey, but we took advantage of the lack of rain to get some fresh air and our blood pumping.

Getting out of Karlsruhe is pretty easy on a bike, and we took our pretty-much normal route of out to the north and over towards the Rhein Ferry. Not looking to go super big that day, we got to the ferry and then motored up a little down the road along the river and found a spot to stop. Overlooking the river, big rocks up and down, barges and boats cruising from both directions, we just kinda sat around the rocks, got some rock skipping in, and had some time to take it easy, chat, and enjoy the muted but really nice day.

We both actually got a couple good rock skipping throws in, to each of our surprises. But after a while, we were ready to keep moving, and jumped back on our bikes now headed towards home. But once we got back to the Rhein ferry place, we opted for the German tradition of Kaffee und Kuchen, and popped into the restaurant for a warm break. The coffee was warm, the cake delicious, and the time to sit in the warmth, have some more great conversation, and take a load off was a nice little reprieve. Did I say the cake was delicious?

Rested, fueled, and warmed up, now it was time to head south. We backtracked the way we came, and were treated to some blue skies and sunshine as we made our way. I love how there are such great bike paths (and comprehensive signage to boot!) around this area, and getting out for a ride is so easy and straightforward. Always a pleasure to ride with Christoph, because although we get some good exercise in, it's always a perfect way to catch up and chat!

Weihnachstmarkt Disappointment

This year things were looking up for the holidays, and the christmas markets looked to be back on this holiday season! Karlsruhe's was built and setup pretty early, and the few times I'd walked through town I could see the stands either getting constructed, getting stocked, or sitting there waiting and ready to go.

Well, as the clock ticked closer and closer to the holidays (christmas markets) officially starting, Covid coincidentally started to uptick right at the same time. Goddamnit. Karlsruhe was being a bit of an outlier, and despite the rise in cases, was planning on keeping the market up and running, but with a strict test requirement to enter. At least there was a way, just not a convenient one, to enjoy the markets for the year. That only made me more excited for Zack to get into town so we could Glühwein it up once he arrived!

As luck would have it, those plans would eventually fall flat on their face. The incidence rate kept climbing, in Karlsruhe and in Germany, and with the Omicron variant slowly starting to cause more and more concern, the government came out with new rules, and christmas markets were on the chopping block. No way around it now, but the market had to close down. A melancholy end to this whole story was the fact that I wasn't able to get into the market at all this year, which was a gigantic bummer.

But, one night after I went and got my hair cut, I stopped by the bank and then strolled through town to see the gigantic line of people waiting to get in. I wouldn't have enjoyed having to wait like that, but as I circled back around and headed home, I stopped off at the one stand on the street and treated myself to some dark chocolate covered strawberries and some candied nuts. Who said you can't take advantage of the holidays amid the chaos?

EDIT - I LIED

No more than a couple hours after I finished off and sent this post out to the wide world small mailing list, I went back on everything I said about Christmas markets. Well, not everything, but I was able to visit a Christmas market this year!

After chatting with Zach real quick, I headed down to Micha's place to meet up with him, Christoph, and Micha's neighbor Stephan. From there, we rode through the extremely cold evening down to Rheinstetten and the Rhein Ferry dock. There, amidst the little cafe/beer counter they setup a make-shift Christmas Market. I'm not sure how they made that into such a grey area, but they had Glühwein for sale along with their normal fare of beer and sausages.

After the long bike ride down there, we rolled up, verified our vaccination status, and headed straight to both counters to get squared away. I snagged a bratwurst and Christoph came down with the first round of Glühweins, and so the night began.

The cold never went away, despite the warm weiners and toasty glühwein. But braving the cold, we all enjoyed a good few rounds of the sugary warm alcoholy goodness. Once the counters closed down, we jumped back on our bikes and braved the even colder night to head back to town. It was buttfuckingcold out, but it was great to see the gang, catch up, have some great laughs and conversations, and wish everyone a wonderful jump into 2022!

Back into Bouldering

Not sure how this got started back up, but after heading to the local bouldering gym with Christoph on a cold fall Saturday morning, we somehow got into a rhythm with Micha of going once per week! It's been quite a while since I've regularly done any amount of climbing, but it's been a blast doing a little bouldering with them. The bouldering gym that we've been going to has usually been unfortunately packed, but despite the crowds we've been able to have a ton of fun climbing around together. Nice to have a little regular activity with some great friends to enjoy.

Then, in (I think) typical German fashion, after we get all changed up after climbing, we usually go out for a beer to balance out our fitness with non-fitness. Whether it be from the climbing center or the gas station across the way, it's always been a great occasion to sit around, chat, snack on something, and enjoy some time together. Not gonna lie, having that kind of social group and activity has been a great bit of fun in my regular life. So nice to have great people around and be able to hang out, relax, debate, chat, and find some adventure together.

Football and Friends

Through the great group of folks I met way back in 2016 through frisbee, last year when I moved over, I got invited to join their fantasy football league. I did pretty well last year, but unfortunately my team has been utter dog shit this year, so things aren't looking all that great. But, usually every Sunday someone in town hosts a bit of a viewing party for everyone to meet up and watch the games!

One of those Sundays I was able to host and whipped up a little something special for the whole gang. Sloppy Joes have been a quasi-trademark of mine since way back in High School. Although they're a bit of a staple in my family, and I think for parts of the US, I don't think they're any bit known here in Germany. Thankfully I was able to utilize a connection with access to the grocery store on base in Stuttgart and they loaded me up with some Manwich so I could go to town on this stuff.

I've got a good tradition of how to cook them, but with a couple vegetarian's in the group, I was able to try something new. Instead of beef, I used some kidney beans, and luckily enough, they turned out great! From the feedback, from both the meat and veggie versions, it sounded like everyone got their fill and enjoyed the new flavors (for them). Always great to know that what you cook creates a great flavor explosion for others! With that mix of good food, a few beers, and some great football, another football night was successfully in the books.

Then, a little variation on the flavor, during a Buckeye game I had Christoph come over to join with a few beers. He'd never watched American Football before, so for him, this was a new experience. And as the one both teaching him about the game, and being able to see and hear his reactions, boy was it a blast!

I can't remember verbatim what some of his comparisons were, but they were pretty hilarious. Essentially where Fußball is a constant attack with continous action, Football is like a nuclear bomb for a few seconds, then peace and quiet, then a nuclear bomb, then quiet, etc. etc. His descriptions were even better, but I gotta give him that, because Football is pretty nuts.

After some objective analytics from him on the merits and sensibility of the sport, turns out it's not really for him. But although he may not be a fan of it, I was a total fan of getting to see his impressions of the sport!

First Snowshoe with some of the First Snow

With Winter comes cold weather. With cold weather comes more precipitation, and with more cold comes snow! Thankfully, the Black Forest is just a stone's throw away, and after hearing about the forecast over the week in early December, I learned there was a good coating of powdah' that had coated the hills over there. I kept an eye on some webcams to see if it was just a dusting, or enough to actually crunch into, and by the time Friday evening rolled around, all things were go!

On a comfy, Saturday morning, I got everything ready, jumped in the car, and headed out to the woods. In Karlsruhe, everything was just a little grey and cloudy, but the closer I got to Schönmünzach, the more and more snow that was showing up on the trees. By the time I got to the trailhead, Rupert and I had to trudge through a good bit of snow before getting parked and jumping out into the winter weather.

Down low (starting at ~640m), there was a bit of a dusting, but nothing to warrant snowshoes. I loped along in the tire tracks that were there, and was enjoying the cold, fresh, snowy winter air. But as I got up a little further, the snow slowly got a little thicker :-) and I eventually got to pull out the snowshoes and start plodding along. What a beautiful sight and scene! Through the trees, over some fresh powder, and after a quick while I'd made my way up to the little lake, Huzenbachersee.

I took a little break in the hut, read the cool signs clarifying how the terrain developed hundreds of thousands of years ago, and then continued on my merry way. My goal was to get up to the top of the hill at the overlook, and so I headed in that direction. Along the way, I saw a less-prominent trail (that wasn't on the map) that pointed more directly uphill and likely would save a good mile or two of walking. Opting for the shorter distance I turned in and went with it. Turns out though, there was likely a reason it wasn't on the map, because it just kinda dead-ended a ways up.

Going off trail is something that I don't normally do. Trails are there for a reason, and going off of them can be a big detriment to nature. But, with snow on the ground, I see that line as a little bit blurred. Thanks to that bluriness (not sure if it's right or wrong), I give myself a little more freedom to go rogue and cut my own path. It's snow, after all, and will be gone by the spring.

Stubborn me wasn't turning back though, so I weeded my way off trail and through the woods and eventually met back up with the road where I was aiming for. That shortcut snipped off a good bit of time and distance, and now it was just straight forward to head to the outlook. I toyed with extending the tour, going a little further and wider, but the distance and time looked to be right on track for my fitness and energy, so kept on keeping on.

That section of trail was pretty straight, fairly flat, and a bit monotonous, but it was a nice bit to kind of zone out and find a groove. The cruch of the snowshoes, consistent motion of the trekking poles, and the stillness all around me had me moving and enjoying the day. Soon enough, I'd reached the overlook, and took a load off to enjoy the view from above. I even had the added fun of watching a couple groups of people as they walked up to and around the little lake.

After that nice little break, and my comfy spot on the bench overlooking the lake and the beautiful valley out front, I was back up and running. The trial followed the ridgeline and bent slowly downward, before coming to an intersection. My plan was to continue on, but there was a no entry sign at that roadway. Same with the one to the left. And to the road back the other way. What?!? The only option was the trail through the woods? Well, I started on that, but soon enough was not a fan (not enough snow, and I didn't want to take my snowshoes off), so I went a bit against the grain and the rules, and went with my originally-selected path that was technically not allowed. Oops.

Turns out nothing happened, and I didn't see anyone (makes sense...) until I got back to an allowed trail. But the walk was peaceful and serene, and by about that time, I could feel my body starting to yell "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" at me. I forgot how much snowshoeing demands of your hips. Fear not though, I kept on keeping on, and slowly found myself back at Rupert.

Snowhoeing is slowly starting to morph into my favorite/primary snow activity, and I'm kinda loving it. It's quiet, peaceful, fairly relaxed (although still strenuous), and allows for adventures into wonderful fresh powder. If you've never done it, I highly recommend it, and am always game for a romp around the snow if you need a snowshoeing buddy!

The Non-Productive (and really stressful) Side of Fall

After typing up the section above, it kinda put a different spin on my experience over the last few months. But going through it in the moment, essentially from September through to December, in varying shades of it, I felt stressed and overloaded pretty much the whole way. You wouldn't notice it, but I was feeling bombarded with things to do in and out of work, and the feeling that I had no time to really do it. As a sort of exercise for me to work through it (and you to follow along, if you'd like), here's why I was feeling so stressed, overloaded, and unable to get out of the funk.

Scheiß Arbeit - Damn Work

Immediately after getting back from Scotland mid-September, I felt like I was already a few weeks behind on what I needed to get done. Unfortunately, due to poor software deliveries, new issues, and tons of other stuff that seemed to pop up, that feeling never went away. Maybe that's just a sign of work in general, but it felt a little different. So much so, that in the period from mid-September to Christmas Break, I'd worked a full extra week and a half. Considering I'm only legally allowed to work an extra two hours per day, that feels like and is a lot of time spent/wasted at work.

On the one side, it means there was a lot to do and a lot to get done, so there weren't many boring phases or periods. But that also means, that the more I had to work, the less time and energy I had for the other things I wanted to do. And the other things I wanted to do, were and are emotionally a much more important task in my mind. So when those tasks don't get the time of day or the necessary energy put to them, that adds to the stress.

From this comes a bit of a silver lining. With all those extra hours that I worked and therefore earned, that means I've got an extra week and a half of vacation to take sometime soon. And, with the start of the year, I know I'm going to be racking up a good number of more hours, so I'll have a good couple/few weeks extra next year to take a break. I can already tell I'm going to need them...

My Big List of To-Dos

As I mentioned, I've felt like I've had a lot of big to-dos that have been just hanging over my head. There's not a huge amount of them, but the either the size or the mental hurdle of each has been really stressing me out. Here's essentially what I wanted to accomplish:

1. Blog post for my trip Home
2. Blog post for my Scotland road trip
3. This blog post
4. Beer Case wood toppers

Now, looking at that list, it's not a long list. Simply four things. But unfortunately, the first three of those (especially the first two) took up so much damn mental real estate that the black cloud that was those tasks wouldn't leave the vertical air space over my head.

The blog posts were time consuming and long processes, but the wood topper thing should be easy, enjoyable, and straightforward, right? Well, kinda. Getting the building of it done was pretty easy, and really enjoyable. Sanding them down was annoying, but doable. But they've been sitting either on my workbench or in the hallway waiting on a few coats of stain for almost two months. I have no idea why, but I have not taken the first step of just opening the can of stain to start, and because of that, the task has seemed so immense that the longer I've pushed it off, the further away I've been from actually getting to it.

As I'm sure most of you know quite well, after a long day at work, when you come home, there's barely any energy, motivation, or focus to jump to another big task. Sometimes there's a little left in the tank, and even when not, just taking that first step to get even a little bit done can lead to some good progress. Unfortunately, for me, taking that first step has always been a gigantic achilles heel of mine.

Because of that achilles heel, it's felt like 90% of nights in the last few months have led to me coming home, and just kinda floundering until bed. If I've had something planned (i.e. bouldering or something similar), then it's a bit of a different story. But those nights that are clear, open, and ready for productivitity, usually lead to me being tired, unsuccessful, and unproductive. This lack of success during the week, pushes me to try and catch up on the weekends. Not ideal.

Especially not ideal, as this feeling of pressure to get things done and make progress led me to many weekends at home, in the apartment, just working on writing and going through pictures. Granted, those were comfy weekends, but that inactivity was bad for my physical health (I think I put on a good 5+ pounds over the last couple months), bad for my social connections and engagement (I've been putting off contacting a ton of good people in my life, just because social commitments eat up time that I could use towards getting things done), and just detrimental to my sanity. Putting this giant goal and the pressure of getting things done just continues to weigh on you when progress is slow and the end seems to be slipping further and further away.

Thankfully, I eventually got the US and Scotland posts done. And for those that read them, they're friggin long. But, no joke, finally sending out that email and crossing them off the list was, each time, extremely rewarding and relieving. I'll be sending this one off, no matter what, before Zack arrives to my place on the 23rd, but this one is a little different, because it's just a hodge-podge of stuff and a lot of just mental dumping onto some text. But this too will be a relief to be done. That'll make three out of four tasks complete before the end of the year. Not bad, I guess.

Going forward, big tasks are going to come up in my life. That's a guarantee. Whether they be things I'm super energized to do and get done, or just necessary little evils that just need to be accomplished, I need to figure out strategies, methods, and ways to make sure I knock things out a little at a time, and not let them overwhelm me. The consistent cloud of stress that followed me these last few months have not been easy, healthy, enjoyable, or tolerable, and I need to make sure I stay out ahead of the rush to ensure I mitigate that from happening again all too regularly. It's bound to happen - life get's stressful, period - but mitigation, an even keel, and initiative/discipline will be key for me going forward.

Why do I feel so tied to this blog thing?

This question has slowly started to creep up and be louder and louder over the last little bit. This whole thing started out, approaching a decade ago, as something quick, simple, fun, and light-hearted to let me share my experiences living and experiencing somewhere new. Well, this has recently morphed into novel-length exposés on the random crap I get myself into.

Maybe random crap is a bit harsh, but I've let my detailed-nature take over to the point that it takes me a couple months to get something written about what I was able to go through. Here, I might have to break this up into two categories though, because write-ups after trips (i.e. US post, Scotland post) are a bit different than just a catch-up on daily life (like this one).

For the trip write-ups, I've been inconsistent on writing things up while I'm underway. When I do, having those summaries after a day of travel helps me remember the little details (which are time-consuming, but usually revolve around great bits and pieces of a trip to remember and re-live) and gives me a good foundation to start on. Using that starting point, it's a little easier for me to crank away at things with the pictures along side to slowly piece the whole thing together.

Even then though, it's slow moving. For the days that I took to purely work on writing things up, my max was getting through 2.5 days of travel in a day of writing. It's really slow going, and I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Either way, it's time consuming.

For the life catch-ups, those aren't as crazy, because it's just essentially a matter of writing up little snapshots of what's been going. It's just a best-of or highlights version of my life, but that makes it a little simpler, then it depends on how much riff-raff I comment or expand on. But that's all on me, and for the most part, is a nice way for me to work out some of my thoughts and what's going on in my jumbled up mind.

Regardless of what I'm looking to write-up, these to-dos have cemented themselves in my mind as essentially a requirement on my end. I'm not getting graded on this, nor is any sort of bonus or recognition dependent upon getting a post written up and done, so all this bears the question - why? Why am I doing this? Why do I feel so tied to getting my experiences and life written up to share?

Taking that question and chewing on it, I came to a few potential reasons, all of which likely have a good bit of merit, and play a good bit together. There's likely more to it, but here's what came into my head.

I'm not a participant in social media (fairly happily so), so this is my replacement for that

I deleted facebook last year, and that was an incredbly healthy and positive decision. (Fuck mark zuckerberg and all of facebook, but that's a different conversation) Since that's out of my life, I don't have any way to quip my thoughts and feelings and experiences out to the wide world. That is not a bad thing - no one NEEDS to have their tiniest thoughts broadcast to the world (and it's arguably a detrimental thing that the whole wide world thinks everything they do needs to be shared). But after having that capability for years, and now no longer having that, maybe I'm missing some kind of outlet.

I've had this 'blog' for longer than I've gone without facebook, so maybe this point is moot. But it also could be, since I deleted my last social media outlet, this method has taken a larger role to compensate.

I just need some sort of outlet, a way to express and share my thoughts

This kinda rolls right into the point above, but in general, maybe I just seek some way, method, means to share my thoughts with the world or whoever comes along. This method of online presence is much more isolated, much more controlled, and (I think) not nearly as toxic as facebook, twitter, and who knows what else. Maybe that's just me on my high-horse, but it's pretty much a one-way street - I say something and write it down, then put it up here. That doesn't leave much room for discussion, which is not necessarily a good thing, but it's fairly controlled. But I digress...

Maybe I just need to feel like I have some place where I can say what I need, want, or would like to say. I honestly have no idea who all actually reads this, but maybe having that mental space, a virtual white board and journal, of where I can write down my thoughts and at least know they're out there. My most private stuff is not something I write up and include here, but at least for 90-something percent of what goes through my head, this has been a good place for me to get them out of my mind and at least put them somewhere else.

I want to be able to look back and remember and re-read the details about what I've done and am doing

This, regardless of whatever other points are in the mix, is definitely valid. As I was going through and getting this website setup during the very first lockdown of this crazy pandemic (holy shit that feels like a whole world away...), I had the chance to go through and re-read every single post I've written - from the start of CBYX to today. That was such a wonderful walk down memory lane.

The way I see it, if I fast-forward a good 30-40-50 years, I'll be happy to sit down with my grandkids and recount the tale of when old Grand-Pappy Tilson climbed the Himalayas, or when I almost got pick-pocketed with Old Man Herhold in Mexico City, or how I struggled to get used to living in a foreign country for the first time. So many big events, crazy adventures, and things going through my head in just the last 8 years, and who knows what else will come up in the next 8 years and beyond!

Adding to the relevance of this point is my terrible memory. I'm absolutely atrocious at remembering details, big or small, recent ones or ones from the distant past. I don't know how I got this bad (or if that's a sign my brain is already headed downhill...), but it's definitely a notable thing in my life/mind.

Doesn't really matter the context, but I am terrible at remembering things. Just last night, I was at a friend's house and we were talking bikes and stuff. Coming up from the basement, I hunted for the light switch and told him about at my place, where when people leave the door I have to stop them in their tracks before they mix up the doorbell to my neighbor's and the staircase light switch. He recalled the exact setup at my place, and I'd completely forgotten that he'd ever even been there.

So in the interest of me even being able to look back and baseline remember what the hell I did in life, this is and has been a good exercise in documentation for me, and will allow me to recount my life as my mind (hopefully not too severely) gets older.

I somehow let this whole thing get away from me, and now it's just an exercise in vanity and wasted energy

I really hope (and at this point don't think) this is the case. I can be an arrogant sumbitch sometimes, but I've never really been one to extravagantly boast about what is going on in my life. I'll inwardly flip out and go crazy if/when I do or experience something cool, but I feel like I do a pretty good job of not letting cool shit get to my head.

Granted, me giving myself a gold star is not exaclty a neutral or objective assessment. I'll let you be the final judge, but I feel pretty comfortable saying this whole process and setup of writing and sharing my life is not a means for me to boast about what I do.

I've been doing it for a while now, and it's tradition, and the train just keeps on rolling

I'm definitely a creature of habit. That could just be based on stubbornness, maybe that's part of my German heritage coming through, or maybe a mix of a few other things. But usually when I get something going, I stick with it until something really impactful causes me to change course.

I've been writing this blog for now about 8.5 years, and that's a long time to have something going on and keeping up with it. Whether I am stuck in a rut, on a good track, or in need of some sort of renaissance, I don't know. But momentum has kept me in motion with this for almost the last decade, and that momentum will likely keep me going as I go forward, unless something big and impactful comes along to make me change course.

All in all, I just don't know...

Plain and simple. I have no idea, and at this point, I don't really have an answer. Do I need to have an answer to this question? Maybe. It wouldn't hurt, and it'd probably help me clarify what changes (if any) I should make to how I approach this. But at this point, I just don't know.......

I've got a nice long road-trip with my good buddy Zack coming up in a couple days, so I'm glad I'll be able to think and chat about this dilemma over the road with my good pal.

Why is it so hard for me to take that First Step?

I've mentioned this a lot lately, even touching on it a bit earlier. Honestly it's something I've noticed quite clearly in my life of late, but I am really, really, REALLY bad, at just taking that first step. Regardless of what I need to do, especially with the more difficult (primarily mentally, but also sometimes physically) tasks in my life, I push them off, thinking that they'll be too hard or too difficult or too challenging. I let that mental roadblock take over and prevent me from taking action.

It's amazing how many times I've seen and internalized the message of just take that first step. So many forms of it: Motivation follows Action so get active and your motivation will build, Once you start doing your feelings will follow etc., etc.. That message and truth is very clear in my head, but 90% of the time, it's not put into action. Rather, I'm not motivated or energized to do something, and I let that lack of energy prevent me from taking a step in the right direction.

I'm not sure what it will take for me to get better at realising I'm stuck on something, and just charging forward with it. There's no one watching me constantly to give me that little push, so the motivation and action has to come from me. That'll be something I'll be working on in 2022 (and the next three years, I've got to refresh my goal list here in the next few days... I don't think I did too great on the goals from my last three years), and telling my lazy mind to fuck off while I get to work and do things. All it takes is that first step, and that's what I need to consistently keep taking.

Some Comments from the Peanut Gallery

There are a lot of thoughts I have thought of over the last few months that I feel like I could share here. My mind is a bit of a rats nest when it comes to what goes through it, and it's hard for me to keep track of it (good and bad).

One thought/feeling that seems to be pretty consistent in my life is how invisible I can feel sometimes. This can come up in pretty random situations like walking down the street, in conversations with lots of people, or in a number of other places, but I can often feel like I'm just a bystander and others don't notice me. This is likely compounded by the fact that I do a lot of things alone (for a plethora of reasons) or often feel alone through various things, but feeling invisible to the world, or even to the folks close around you, is a bit of an unsettling and unfortunate feeling.

Sometimes I have thoughts at night of what would happen if something were to happen to me over here. This is a bit doomsday-y, but what would happen if I was incapacitated in some form over here? How long would it take for someone on the ground to know something is wrong with me and try to come find me? This is something I probably don't want to expand upon, but that gets me thinking that I need to share some contact information between my family and some people on the ground over here. That seems like a good action plan.

Not a lot of commentary from the peanut gallery this time, but just a few things I wanted to get off my chest.

My Dear, Loving, and Amazing Mommy

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and the words will always ring true - I've got the best Mommy in the world. Even being thousands of miles away, she knows how to share her love and warm thoughts with me. Whether it be a random post card, a random letter, or a big box of cookies and other goodies, she's world-class and second to none.

One way she's been showing her awesomeness for the holidays was through a giant package that landed on my doorstep one day. She was very urgent and clear that I not read the shipping documents, because when I opened it up, I was surprised with the full 12 days of Christmas!

And cookies, oh baby the cookies, and mint-chocolate covered pretzel sticks. It's no damn wonder that I've got a heavy sweet tooth when you see what our family can whip up in terms of sweets. OOOOOOohhhh baby.

Well, those 12 Days of Christmas have been an absolute delight. Each day, I've been able to wake up and have a lovely little reminder from my loving mom of how much she cares about me and wants what's best for me. After seeing all the presents wrapped up, I knew I had to put them somewhere special, which led to me pulling out my first christmas tree. It's a fake, and it's tiny, but this is the first time I've ever put up my own christmas tree!!! And the first ornament to go on it? Of course one from my loving Mommy :-)

Adding to just how awesome she is, take a look at the first gift. My Momma knows me very well.

The distance of living so far away sucks. Not being able to pop in to say hi, help with something around the house, or just go out and grab a beer together, is a huge bummer, all of which I miss dearly. But despite the distance, my Mom has been able to always show her love from miles and miles away, and it's always a warm reminder of the love that she has for me. I love you Mommy :-)

My Loving and Amazing Family

Being so far away from home is not an easy thing when your family is way back on the other side of the world. With the modern marvel that is technology today though, staying in touch with them has been incredibly easy. No, nothing will ever replace being in person and being able to be physically present with one another, but being able to chat with my little sister as she's heading home from the gym, with my older sister and the kids as they're making lunch, or my Mommy as she's relaxing before heading to work, it's been so refreshing to be a click away from seeing and hearing how they're doing.

That still doesn't make it any easier being so far away. I love being able to see and chat with all of them, but the distance is something that can't be mitigated with technology. Thankfully, they've all been able to hang out and be together a few times in the last few months, and we've been lucky enough to facetime all together when that happens! That's been so fun seeing everyone, getting a grasp for the chaos that is family time, but not being in the room together, directly interacting, playing with the kids, helping out in the kitchen, discussing whatever comes up with one another, I really miss that. Family time is stressful and chaotic, but it's family time, and that's not something technology can replace.

What's been really hard through the last couple months too, is not being there within the area to help out. In a crazy stroke of coordination, my older sister and brother-in-law, Mommy, and little sister have all moved to new homes and apartments in the last two months. That's a LOT of activity and moving, and I haven't been able to help for any of that. As a brother and son I've been AWOL from my duties and desire to help, and that hurts.

Thankfully (but I still don't know how or why), they've all been really accepting of me being so far away. I still struggle to come to grips with that, and they likely are too, but at least that confirmation is there that they understand. Doesn't mean I'm happy about being so far away, but my awesome family has had my back through all of it, and that means the world to me.

Seeking Feedback

Since you've made it allllll the way to the end of this little book, if you've got a few minutes, I'd love to get some feedback from you. This whole blog thing initially started out to be a way for me to communicate to my loving family back home in the US, what I was up to and experiencing during my first time living abroad over here. Over the years, it's morphed into various shades of that, and essentially is a way for me to document my life in whatever manner I see fit.

In a way, I see that manner of documentation as the primary (and almost only) lens of why this blog exists. But, that's because I don't get or haven't gotten (or asked yet, for that matter) anybody who reads this for their feedback! So, here's your chance. I have no idea how many people read this, have an opinion on it, or are interested enough for me to keep going at this or provide feedback, but if you've got the time, capacity, and interest, here's a link to a little survey where I'd be happy to hear what you think:

nialtilson.github.io - Feedback Round

Any and all constructive criticism and feedback is more than welcome! I look forward to hearing what comes through the pipeline!

Up Next - Now in Sync!

With this little summary all wrapped up and completed, my blog-life is now back in-sync with my real life. Gotta say, that's a damn nice feeling to have this all up to date.

Now, turning right around and wasting no time, I'm off on another adventure in a matter of hours with my trusty travel buddy Zack. He's flying in from California, finding his way to my apartment, and then a few hours after that we'll be on the road and headed south towards Portugal! Time for another adventure and we've got a couple weeks to cruise around and get to know the Iberian Peninsula!

We're both really stoked for this trip, and it's going to be a blast. For one, the ability to be back out and traveling and adventuring together - can't beat that. And being able to do so in such a cool spot, we're both looking forward to what surprises we come across as we're underway! This comes at a perfect time for both of us being able to break off from work, break off a bit from the world, and get out and have some fun.

Signing off for 2021

Well gang, that wraps up things from my end over here in Germany from 2021. It's been one helluva year. Tons of ups, downs, lefts, rights, wins, losses, and so much else. But now, with the holidays here, it's time to relax, spend time with friends and family, and enjoy each others presence and be thankful for all that we have.

With that, I hope each and every one of you are able to find time for yourself to reflect on all the great things that happened this year, and find time with others to join in some fun in whatever way you choose to do so. Thank you to everyone for your role, big and small, in my life, and for being there for me through thick and thin. I wish you all the best, and look forward to hearing from you and sharing new things with you soon!!!

Dates Covered in Post: September 20th -- December 21st, 2021
Original Publish Date: December 21st, 2021